#I cant wait to die my hair ginger again

[that-foul-legacy-lover]

Random silly idea that came up in my random silly head again(i cant believe i just typed that)

A reader that used to work for the Tsaritsa and was practically like a harbinger despite having no connections to the harbingers aside from maybe a couple interactions with the top 3. The Tsaritsa used them as a spy and an informational collector, and they are also pretty strong(as imaginable from someone who steals important information from dangerous sites 24/7)

However, after getting more and more information about such disturbing things, they of course start disliking and soon, hating such a job. However, if they are to ever leave or quit, they would be killed as they hold too much important information and cannot be trusted to wonder around with such knowledge. So they escaped from the fatui and are actively hiding from agents so that they don’t get killed.

Childe had known about them when they worked under Tsaritsa but just like any harbinger under the rank of top 3 he didn’t knew much about them. After being stuck as FL, he is also actively on the run from the fatui, but unlike the reader he would probably just get captured and sent to some sort of cage while reader wouldn’t face any less than a death penalty. When FL and Reader meet, needless to say they understand each other’s situations more than well. So they hide together and try to get out of the mess which they are both tangled in.

I thought of pretty angsty stuff with this scenario, but i guess where it leads us to goes to you :)

- 👻anon

ohhh dear anon can i just say, i LOVE your random silly head so much :D

you swore you'd never get close to anyone- not while you're in this position, anyway, hiding and running from the Fatui. it's not a life you'd wish on anyone, constantly having to move and watch your back, never trusting anyone since they could be a spy in disguise just waiting to drag you back to the Tsaritsa for your looming execution. it'd be a cause for celebration, you're sure, the death of a Snezhnayan traitor. so you keep your distance from everyone, interacting only when you need to and leaving at the first sign of trouble

until you meet Childe one day in the woods of Liyue

you didn't plan to take him with you, only patch up his injuries and see him on his way, because despite being a Fatuus you couldn't bear to see any creature in pain. it breaks your heart to hear the strange, horned beast whine and gasp when you bandage each wound, and afterwards he turns and collapses, head on your lap and crystalline eye looking at you pleadingly

he purrs when you hesitantly pet him, weak but steady, and you sigh and know that you're a pushover

even after you tried to leave him to his own devices, he just keeps following you, never even trying to disturb anything but eagerly fluttering his wings and chirping when you turn to look at him. once it was clear he wasn't just going to leave you reluctantly learned his name, the monster happily nudging your hand towards scratches on the ground that spelt "Childe". admittedly it is quite nice to have a companion after all these months alone, especially one who presses his cheek into your hand, purring and trilling whenever you give him attention. late at night Childe holds you, stroking your hair and letting out soft croons and whines as you struggle against the grasp of the nightmares that come whenever your eyes close, clawed hands gently wrapped around your own smaller fingers in comfort

one day, you find out he's Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger, and oh, he hates the look of fear in your eyes, the pure terror you emit when you're normally so steeled and determined. he whimpers desperately, lowering his head to seem smaller and less intimidating, crying out when you instinctively back away because you're going to die, you've messed up and you can't escape oh Archons-

Childe's head softly presses underneath your chin, careful not to prod you with his horns, and your hands land in his thick ginger hair. he's sitting now as you stand, petting his fluff nervously, his claws clinging to your shirt as he coos. he won't betray you, he promises- he's being chased and hunted too, like an animal. you can be chased together so please, please stay?

he loves you too much to handle your absence

[eracqoon]

Fall aesthetic!! I love fall (so much fun clothing and halloween (spoopy spoopy)  

[ppnuggie]

hello ppnuggie <3

can i have a lost in space match up please :3?

i go by sunny, my pronouns are she/they and im omnisexual!!

i have short, curly ginger hair and a lot of freckles,, im planing on getting little solar systems tattoed on diffrent clutters of freckles which is not really relevant ig but,, freckles

my eye color is a mix of blue and green and people have actually argued over what my eye color is at school lol,, i dont really have an aesthetic but i do have these really cool pants with doodles on them and a little ufo on the back pocket that says "i need space"

i have a very cheery personality around friends and i would literally die for them,, i dont express myself around my family as much because they can be really judgy and im really sensitive,, and if im around someone i absolutely hate/someone who has wronged me significantly, i will let them know exactly how i feel - if i do have an issue with someone i will always try to solve the issue in a civil mannar without hurting their feelings,, i rely on communication a lot and its an important thing to me with different relationships

but other than that, im very friendly with new people and friends, im very open and try very hard not to be intimidating, because as an antisocial and socially anxious person ik how it feel when talking to knew people,, im definitely more confident over social media and texts than i am in person.

im an artist!!! im graduating a year early from high school and going to one of the country's best art schools!! ive had art set as acareer path in my brain since the 5th grade,, art is my life

i also dabble in creative writting, mostly fanfics but its just so incredible to come up with stories,, im a big book worm,, if im not drawing or watching cartoons/syfi films im reading, could be ao3, wattpad, tumblr fics, poetry, or a physical book i bought, i will read it

i love syfi and action that simmer in some romance ya know,, it just hits diffrent,, especially alien robot themed syfi,, idk my brain just eplodes when i see space robots

i hate being surrounded by clutter, my surroundings affect my mental state so i try to be as clean as possible to keep my attitude and motivation up :))

i have anxiety + social anxiety,, especially if im alone in crowded/public spaces- went on a college field trip once in middle school and i had a break down at taco bell because none of my friends were there and i was surrounded by strangers,, students or not,,

i hate broccoli and coliflower and public speaking/presentation assignments

im sorry if this is too much? ive never asked for a match up before but the ones ive seen are kinda lengthy so im not too sure :// i might do another match up ask in the future for tfp if its still open i love those funky dudes

anyways thank you for reading my tf stuff and requesting it was the highlight of my week !!! :D

ahh tysm for requesting !! 🥹🥹🙏❤️ im so sorry i havent been able to reply to the comments and stuff you make on my posts 😭😭 i promise im not ignoring you ,, its just this isnt my main blog but instead a side blog ,, my main one i dont bother or toucb anymore 😭😭 but my dms are definitely open if you ever wish to talk or so <33 and np !! i cant wait to see the finished result for the request :D i like your work so much 🥹 its rlly good !! heres you matchup <33 under the thing ,, and dw ,, you can request again for tfp bc no ones rlly requested so far 😭🙏 congrats on the art school tho ! :D hope you do have fun with that !!

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 : robot !! :D

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :

• he would stay around you often ,, not bothering to spend time with others and instead stick close to you unless you told him not to

• hes very curious about you ,, lights swirling around inside the glass on his face ,, he finds you interesting and nice to be around

• whilst hes not all that sure about humans just yet ,, as they all act differently from one another ,, he does feel safer and more comfortable around you

• whenever he catches glimpses of your drawings he tilts his head to the side ,, wondering about them in his mind

• he loves to see your drawings ,, how each varies differently from one to another ,, it just makes more memories for him

• he has tried to draw something for you before ,, wanting to indulge in this littke artistic hobby of yours and make something ,, though it was only in the dirt as he doesnt know how to use pencils and stuff yet

• he’ll help you with public spaces and crowds and strangers as best as he can ,, making it known hes there for you shall you need some reassurance <3

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎

the small stick glided around in the dirt ,, shapes starting to form as he moved it about. he had his mind focused on a plant form ,, gazing back and forth at it as he tried to mimick its shaping. the lights swirled softly inside the glass ,, hand moving to make another shape.

once finished ,, he turned to look up at you. the lights never once stopped swirling ,, a soft hum coming from robot as he awaited for your reaction. laid there in the dirt had been a mishapened flower ,, the one just a little bit in front of you two.

he hoped you liked it somewhat ,, hoping you’ll enjoy his creation as much as he enjoys yours. the lights slowed their pace ,, blue gazing into your eyes as he awaited.

[khaleesiofalicante]

IM HERE I HAD TO SEND MY LAPTOP FOR REPAIR BUT IT'S OK EVERYTHING'S GOOD IM HERE

AMIRA IM SO IN LOVE DKDJHDOSHDIDJD

Amira Abbasi was from the Karachi institute.

LMAO PEOPLE TRYING TO STEAL MAGNUS' NUMBER FROM SELENA'S PHONE

Selena's right. It's been 10 years. Those bitches sitting in Idris definitely have something to do with it

But then she would run into people like Kyle and remember that the world was maybe not as better as she thought.

Because it didn’t matter how great a leader they had when people refused to educate themselves or tried to do better.

Kill him I say.

THE FUCKING AUDACITY YOU LITTLE SHIT DIE

Wait wait wait. Why isn't his blade lighting up??

IM FEELING THAT ADRENALINE RUSH I WILL CRY

“The silent brothers didn’t find anything unusual.”

Well you see-

JSIDHIDODKBUDOS RAGNOR GETS FLASHBACKS EVERYTIME HE THINKS OF GIGI AHHJJ

Ragnor:

TY'S GONNA BE ON THE MISSION EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OK

“Something about that 'wither thou goest' nonsense.”

These fucking Shadowhunters at it again. You think it's funny to make me cry??

"just in case" ALEC IF YOU DONT COME BACK I WILL JUMP IN THERE AND DRAG YOUR'S, JACE'S AND TY'S ASSES BACK HERE DO NOT TEST ME

“Don’t worry,” Selena winked. “I won’t tell the Consul you are the admin of the Alec Lightwood group chat.”

Amira baby you're doing god's work here ily

Selena and Michael...I CALLED THIS SHIP FROM WHEN THEY FIRST MET

It is weird though these two need to meet up and quick

“You,” Michael replied without hesitation. “You make me happy.”

THE NOISES WHICH ESCAPED ME

Haha Michael what do you mean. Get back here and elaborate

I CANT WAIT TILL TUESDAY FOR THIS WTF IS HAPPENING

Ok that's it I'm bringing David back where's Lucie?

“I’m a chaotic mess. It’s my aesthetic,” Lexi pointed out. “I need to maintain my brand.”

Me when my parents ask to me to clean my room

“Alec,” Jace smiled. “That’s what you should do too.”

“Talk to the Consul?” Lexi asked in a small voice.

JACE AND ALEC'S BOND I WILL CRY-

Also Lexi why not?

“All babies are beautiful,” Clary pointed out.

"You and I both know that’s not true,” Jace managed a smile.

True some are like dried raisins

YOU GIVE ME SAD CLACE WHY

“I don’t need babysitting,” Jace said, putting on a t-shirt. “I’m an adult.”

His head got stuck inside his t-shirt, and he groaned loudly. “A little help?”

Jace-

“If he is anything like his father, he will pull through,

Huh

JACE IS FINE

Physically anyway

Jace what is it

No

Wait a sec what

I'm too scared to scroll

Alec...

I can't scroll

Alec no no please

Alec, who was sick.

I just starting crying

Please no no no.

At this point I'm too scared to theorize

ALEC I TOLD YOU NOT TO SMOKE DIDN'T I??

It's most likely unrelated but I JUST-

I'm too shakey to focus right now

GIGI...

I love her so much. If anyone can figure this shit out it's her

She's so smart...

Adamas has to be the one right?? What else is left?? (Pure angel blood from the angels or the blood of princes of hell)

FUCK ADAMAS DIDNT WORK

Roman!

“Listen,” Jackson ran a hand through his ginger hair. “I don’t understand why people keep making a big deal about this. Being a silent brother is not a punishment. It’s a choice – one that is made willingly. This is what I want. And being a scholar is just as important and honorable as being a soldier. Shadowhunters are so fixated on being fighters and warriors that they think one should be insane or dying to be a silent brother. I knew the nephilim would probably not get it. But I really thought you would understand.”

We need healers and scholars! They are so often over looked!!

GASP

HES ASEXUAL

I don’t know what to do with myself.

I don’t know what to do with my heart.

I have so much love in there. So much love I had saved for him

I don’t know what to do with it anymore.

Max...oh my god i-

Brother David...

Leave me alone for the next 10 years please

I think David would've liked this...to be loved and remembered by two immortals for centuries

What what what

What's going on

WAS DAVID TAKEN HOSTAGE INSTEAD????

That sort of explains the black fire...

“Lancelot must go to Edom. He is waiting for you.”

David...

Idk what to think honestly.

Imma go spam my friend to start reading

OKAY I JUST WANNA SAY

this line

"True some are like dried raisins"

I LITERALLY FELL OFF MY BED LAUGHING DKSBDCD I CANNOT WITH YOU YOUR LIVE BLOGS ARE SO HILARIOUS AND ENTERTAINING ILY

[incursionparagon]

"No way.... Cordelia? You were seriously here the whole time?" He popped up from behind her while in the gardens, almost seemingly appearing from the shadows. Henry was saying his goodbyes, because plenty of people were making it out as though they might not come back alive. "People have been making a fuss about death again. I don't know why... you'd think it'd be easy to accept that you might just die in your sleep." He wasn't going to go on about that, though.

"I guess I just had to make sure I heard my birdies correctly when they told me you were here~ So... Good bye now!" Chuckling to himself, he swung around to make himself scarce. Only to remember that the point of goodbyes were to say hello. "Wait! Actually! I need to give you something. You know, because it's been so long since I saw you."

Retrieving something glittery from the beak of his crow, he thought this sort of thing would suffice in place of sentiment. Proffered to her was a small frond of baby's breath encased in a resin marble. "Goodbyes aren't forever but hellos are."

"Gah! ...Oh, Henry. ...Oh-- Henry?!"

It is a rapid series of emotions that plays out on Cordelia's face (after she startles nearly out of her skin, anyways): shock, a surprising amount of calm, and shock again. ...It was somewhat of a rhythm, really, though the pegasus knight would happily break it.

Fingertips press lightly against the ridge of her brow, a heavy breath exhaled and most certainly not concealing a smile playing upon her lips. No, of course not. Another breath, steadying this time, drawn in; her hair flutters when she looks back up, fierce vermillion spilling across her shoulders, and she drops the act. To think that she had wondered if he would even want a farewell from her, and yet it had been he who found her...

"It would seem so," she replies vaguely, but there is unmistakable fondness in the slight narrowing of her eyes. He lifts a weight she had not known she'd carried, and with all this newfound lightness, she finds it quite impossible to draw flat the gentle curve of her lips. She laughs. "You've found me."

Except he turns to leave almost as quickly as he's come, and Cordelia feels quite abruptly as though she's inadvertently found the answer to the question that befuddles him so. She does not move to stop him anyways, but something in her eyes relaxes when he turns to her again; it all falls still when he hands her the little gift.

"Oh..." She rolls it gently in her hands, small but significant like the lump in her chest. Baby's Breath. She's always loved it, though he can't possibly have known, a twinkle in her eye as she holds in between her thumb and forefinger over the image of his face; suddenly, her hand cants a degree away, the full force of her quiet smile turned upon him. "It's... beautiful, Henry. Thank you. Truly."

Her fingers close around the marble in the beat of silence that follows, though she holds it close to her rather than stowing it away. "I think it's because they want more time. It's greedy, isn't it?" Her hand reaches for him, hesitating in the frigid air between them; then, she brushes some dust or unknown something from his shoulder, a ginger and unobtrusive touch.

"I'm sad to say I don't have a present for you this time." She smiles. "Goodbye, Henry. Come back soon, won't you? And then I'll say hello again."

[keoghans]

Hey Chuck

Hello and welcome to this Chuck Grant fanfic. I always loved this dude, and I see little to no work about him, so, I took it upon myself to do fic about him. I invented a character, his love interest, because I cant write reader insert, I just, it bothers the fuck out of me to write like that lmao. 

Special mentions for @notmykirk @liebthots @hellitwasyoufirstsergeant @alphapockets for proofreading, giving ideas and helping a distressed, nervous writer lol, you lot were brilliant!

This is super angsty, but also filled with fluff and stupid cliches. 

Pairing: Chuck Grant x OC

Warnings: angst, shitloads of angst. Mention of rape. Slight, non-explicit smut. Cursing.  

Word Count: 12k (I know, IM SORRY)

Epilogue 

Three knocks and an anxious wait.

The door was opened by the tall ginger that didn’t seem to ever age. 

“Hannah Davis! What brings you here?” he exclaimed with a broad smile as he hugged her smaller frame. 

“How are you, sir? You look great!” she replied and he furrowed his eyebrows at her answer.

“Hannah, the war is over, it has been for a while, I go by Richard, Rich, or Dick, please,” he said, as he let her in his house. He sounded the same, warm, emphatic, funny. 

“Old habits die hard, I guess,” she replied, checking out his living room. He lived in a beautiful, tall house, very homey. It had a fireplace on and a half finished drink on the nearby table. 

“My wife went to visit her brother, a man that’s never approved of me, so I stayed back,” he explained, serving another drink for her. 

“I remember when you first told me that he wasn’t fond of you and I wondered, how the hell does someone not like Dick Winters?” she replied and they both chuckled. 

“Her parents like me, and so does she, so… it doesn’t really matter”. 

Hannah didn’t marry post war, and it had been only a year, but most of Easy Company was already having children, marrying or at least dating. 

She had her heart set on someone but she had lost all contact with him and the Army didn’t help her trying to get what she needed.

So, after an hour and a half of reminiscing about the war, about Austria and the Eagle’s Nest, Winters caught up to her.

“Hannah, with all due respect… I know this isn’t just a casual visit, or you would’ve brought Luz or someone else with you,” he started, trailing off for her to speak. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, the man had always been prone to read people like a piece of paper. She struggled for a few seconds, her nerves coming back to her, scratching the back of her head absentmindedly.

“I’ve been trying to find someone… Someone from the Company, and I don’t want to ask the rest of the men because… Well, if this fails, I don’t want it to be gossip between them; and the Army couldn’t help me, they cannot give out information about former paratroopers,” she explained. 

“I have all of the men’s information with me, so, who are you looking for? Though—some information can be outdated, I haven’t updated it in a couple of years,” Dick said, looking for an old black book that had ‘Easy’ embroidered in the front.

“Say the name.”

“Uh… Charles Grant—NCO Chuck Grant.” 

Rick smiled softly, looking down as he looked for his name in his book. 

“What?” she asked, slightly embarrassed. He knew.

“Nothing. Sergeant Grant is an exceptional man, I felt deeply for him when he got shot,” he explained and placed a ruler under his name, handing the notebook to Hannah.

“I know he is, that’s why I’m looking for him,” she said, looking down at his name, copying the information of his address and phone number. 

Richard looked at her with his usual witty, warm smile. 

“Thank you, Dick” she said, closing the notebook and giving it back.

“Like my wife would say, ‘go get him’.”

///

Hannah had Chuck’s address and phone for a month and a half. 

Every time she thought about calling him, or showing up at his place, fear shook her body and threw her back to square one. She had taken a cab to her former Major in the Paratroopers for forty five minutes to find a man’s address and she couldn’t actually talk to him. 

Hannah laid in her bed, after a long day at the hospital. She was eating leftover carrot cake she had made a week ago, feeling dreadful, looking at the little paper with Chuck’s name sitting on her bedside table, and remembered the many times they shared. 

Bastogne was the coldest hell Hannah had ever experienced, and she knew it was never leaving her head after everything that transpired.

The trees exploded every now and again. As desperation settled inside each mind, everyone started wondering which was getting killed next. 

Then the casualties came: Joe Toye and Guarnere lost each other one leg to mortars, Don Hoobler accidentally shot himself in the leg and the blood loss took his life. Muck and Penkala got blown to pieces by another mortar. 

She had tried to save as many lives as possible as she had to shoot Germans from afar, fearing death every single second she moved around the snow covered forest.

She had short moments of peace, and most were laying in a foxhole, trying to gather some warmth, next to Chuck. 

Her body shook as she blew into her hands, trying to gain back feeling on her fingertips when Charles looked at her and grabbed her hands without a word, covering them with his calloused fingers, scooting closer to her. 

She was slightly taken aback. 

Chuck wasn’t a man of many words, he communicated more with his eyes and small expressions. He politely smiled at her as he rubbed his hands against her. 

“Thanks,” she muttered, nuzzling her chin deeper into her scarf that was tucked into her jumpsuit. 

Chuck just looked at her and kept rubbing their hands together. She noticed her blue eyes looking bright from the full moon shining down the forest. 

“I always hated the winter time, back in the states… and now more,” Chuck said, breaking the silence between them. 

“I know, I prefer to be burning under the sun rather than freezing my butt off.” 

“Cold beers,” he added.

“The beach.”

“Dipping into a river or the sea.”

Both exchanged small smiles. 

Chuck had always noticed Hannah, and stared silently at her many times, but barely exchanged a few words in the second year of their training, when she arrived in Toccoa. He knew she was Shifty’s friend, and someone who Winters relied on and trusted from what Powers had said to help her get into the Paratroopers. 

And she had proved herself useful, not only as a doctor, but as a sharpshooter, taking down snipers that others didn’t notice at first. She used to compete with Shifty on how many Krauts took down each.

Hannah always knew who he was, she remembered every and each name of the company, by nicknames mostly. He definitely called for her attention; he was polite, shy, only mustered a few jokes here and there, not like Luz, who couldn’t speak without joking. 

But she was never as interested in him until he helped her find warmth in a shattering cold in Belgium. 

Hannah remembered that with a smile—their first and probably closest interaction. It only took snow, people dying around them and a whole war for it to happen.

Friday, she thought, Friday would be a good thing for me to approach his house if, luckily, he didn’t move out before. 

///

Anxiety. Lots of. 

Hannah wasn’t on call at the hospital on Friday. She and her best friend, scheduled everything.

Angelina made sure she couldn’t back out of looking for the former paratrooper. She had helped her pick an outfit, helped with her hair, the whole ordeal. 

“Okay, go, go! It’s barely past noon, it’s a beautiful day, maybe y’all can go for a walk,” angelina said, taking a sip from her lemonade. 

Hannah was barely talking, her hands shook, she felt her pits damp with sweat, with a tight knot in her stomach. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, okay… I’m going, whatever, what could go wrong, what the fuck, he could only think I’m a fucking stalker, whatever right? Fuck—.”

“Oh my god, get out, I’ll take care of Trigger, let him have a stroll, and if by any chance you spend the night there—” she said, with a wink— “call me so I’ll stay and give Trigger his morning walkies,” Angelina commanded as she pushed Hannah through the door. 

“Good luck, honey!” She yelled as Hannah dragged her feet through the hot cement under the July sun. 

Every little thing that could go wrong played in her mind as she walked. Grant lived roughly twenty blocks away from her but she still wanted to walk there, to make it as slow as possible. 

Hannah checked the address in the small, torn piece of paper she had it written on and looked for 1612 for a bit, until she finally saw it.

It was a beautiful, tall white house, with a dark grey roof, a small porch with a couple of rocking chairs. A lot of small pots with flowers and different plants covered most of the front of the porch, which made Hannah think that there was clearly a woman living there. 

That made fear struck her again.

He’s probably married, there are rocking chairs and plants… none of the men of the paratroopers cared about fucking plants, why would Charles be any different? 

Fuck it.

Hannah shook her head, her curls moving along, stomped the ground after pondering for a couple of minutes, away from the house and took a few deep breaths before she walked up the three steps before the door and, with a shaky breath, knocked three times and took a step back, giving the door her back. 

She could sense her muscles completely tense, everywhere, arms, legs, stomach, and wondered why the hell she never got her anxiety completely treated like her PTSD from the war. 

What if a woman opened the door? I’d pretend I got the wrong house and run for the fucking hills. 

“Yes?” a deep voice said from behind her. 

Hannah could’ve swore her heart stopped for a split second.

She turned in her heel with the riddled feeling in her stomach when she met those bright blue eyes and the permanently tanned skin of Sergeant of Second Platoon, Charles Grant. 

His usual disheveled look was intact, she noticed, the droopy eyes and the resting annoyed face that was his trademark was still there, but it did change in a moment when he realized quickly who she was. His eyes widened as his jaw dropped slightly. 

“Hannah? Hannah Davis?!” he exclaimed, opening the door wider, taking a step forward shyly. 

Hannah swore her heart was thumping against her chest like a hammer, and was actually afraid Chuck would notice it. But all he did was try to find the words, stuttering slightly as he took a look at her.

“Hey, Chuck,” she said, trying to find her voice back from somewhere in her throat. 

Charles let a single chuckle out of his mouth before, sort of awkwardly, pulled her for a hug, crossing his left arm around her torso and the other one, around the shoulders.

Hannah was a hundred percent sure her heart could arrest at any moment and die right there. The man was hugging her. And she was hugging him back, the same way, when his perfume surrounded her and she closed her eyes for a moment, lingering her head above his shoulder, every single feeling she had ever felt for him rushing back into her stomach, untying the knot slightly, filling it with butterflies. 

“What a surprise! Come on in,” he said, as they parted, moving aside so she could walk inside first. 

Clean, super clean. The fact that the house was so clean yelled wife! in Hannah’s face. But she shook the thoughts aside, trying to focus on walking and trying not to bump into anything and make a mess of herself in front of Chuck. 

“You like it? I’ve been trying to decorate myself but… I don’t know, looks shitty to me still,” he added, standing next to her as she looked at old signs of tobacco brands, and a couple of paintings up white walls, complemented with an olive couch with three seats, a coffee table and a TV in front. 

And books, everywhere. Different sized, colored, some put in a small library in the corner, near the couch. Some were sprawled over on the coffee table and one on the couch, open and faced down. 

She took the books as the cue to find out and get it over with. 

“You and—and your wife must read a lot,” she said, sniggering internally as she awaited for an answer. 

Chuck let out a hearty chuckle, looking suddenly a bit embarrassed at her. 

“Uh, I’m not married,” he said, forming a thin-lipped, awkward smile on his lips. Hannah felt how her shoulders relaxed at the information.

“Oh—sorry, it’s just… It looks very homey, and you know, women do that work mostly,” she said, trying to sound innocent. 

“I learned a bit from my mom, and I found out that I really enjoy gardening and plants in general, that’s why there’s that many on the outside porch. Luz told me I was becoming a woman, I said, ‘what’s wrong with being a woman’?” Chuck said, scratching the back of his neck. 

“He fought side by side with one, and he still says that crap?” Hannah asked, remembering George Luz, the clown of the company. “Fuck him, I like how it looks, it’s homey and… looks warm, you know?”

Chuck nodded his head proudly, trying to shoot down a smile that tried to creep up, slightly blushing. 

“Listen, I was roasting some chicken, are you hungry? I have beers, too,” he said, pulling her by her wrist softly. This touch sent electricity up Hannah’s arm as she nodded silently, following him. 

She was sort of surprised by his cheerfulness. He was a very lowkey man, never spoke too loud, unless he wanted to mock one of his peers with Luz or Guarnere. He fumbled around the kitchen for a bit, before going through the back door to the backyard, where he had a barbecue against the wall.

And she could see him work, cutting up the chicken while it was still roasting, and noticed how he hadn’t put up any weight since coming back from the war, or losing any from the anxiety and PTSD. He had kept in form, his arms still big, as his shoulders, the black sleeves of the shirt sticking tight against them. 

Jesus, stop that! 

Lost in her thoughts, looking around the kitchen, she didn’t notice Chuck was back with two small sandwiches in hand, leaving them on a couple of plates as he quickly moved to grab two Crystals. 

“My brother taught me this amazing sauce, and it’s like pulled pork, but pulled chicken,” he explained, almost proudly of his handiwork. Hannah smiled and took a bite on it. 

Instantly, she had to suppress a moan that was about to fall out of her full mouth, as she widened her eyes at him. He smiled as he chewed and nodded his head like saying I know, right? 

After downing her bite with a bit of beer, Hannah finally breathed out to compliment his food, making Chuck blush again. 

“So, uh… what brings you here? Did you need anything?” Chuck asked, taking a sip of his beer again. 

I wanted to confess that I had feelings for you since you helped me warm up in a foxhole in Bagstone and you saved my ass when I got shot and you dragged me into a jeep to be taken away for a bit to heal, and I always wanted to kiss you for that but I’m such a fucking wuss, I never even dared to flirt. 

“Oh, no, no, I didn’t come to ask any favors, no,” she replied, chuckling nervously, “I—I’m gonna be honest with you; when we came back from Europe, I knew you had to do some recovery from the shot you took, that would need rehabilitation and… I was dealing with so much I couldn’t stay and I felt like shit for a long while for that—Shit, this sounds like I’m doing this to sleep better at night but no, I just want to say: I��m sorry, I should’ve been there like you were when I lost my ear to a kraut bullet, Chuck, I’m really sorry, and I wanted to check on you, see how you were doing…” 

It wasn’t a complete lie, Hannah knew that, but she still felt like what she needed to actually say was heavy in her chest. 

Chuck smiled, and turned his head slightly, pulling his hair up a bit. 

“The scar goes all the way to the back of my head, I—I should’ve died by the extent of my wound, but, it was mostly sup—superficial. My left arm is partially paralyzed,” he explained, lifting both arms at the same time but the left one was left behind as the right kept going up. “And sometimes it’s hard to s—” he closed his eyes as he struggled to say the word, his tongue frozen in the roof of his mouth for a couple of seconds— “speak, like, right now.” 

Hannah looked sorry, like a dog with a tail between its hind legs, feeling ashamed. 

“Don’t feel bad, I had my family and some of the men to help me, and very good doctors too, really, it’s not like you had to take care of me, you know,” Chuck added, grinning warmly at her. “George, Doc Roe and Speirs came almost daily to help, I was set; speaking of wounds, how’s the ear?”

Hannah moved her hair away to show him the scarred and dusty pink skin that reattached to her head after it got blown off in the Battle of the Bulge. 

Bullets and mortars were falling down the territory Easy Company covered. As much as anyone avoids talking about fear, they were all terrorized; the lack of winter gear, clothes, ammo, and food kept them all weak.

Hannah and Chuck were shooting non-stop, both with shaky breaths as they were still covered under a wool blanket, where only the gun and their eyes could be seen. 

“Hannah! Hannah, go help Shifty!” she heard Lip call her as he ran past. She sighed, not wanting to be any closer to the flying gunshots that were showering horizontally on them. 

“Go, it’s okay, go!” Chuck exclaimed, looking at her swiftly as he kept shooting. 

Hannah groaned in annoyance but still climbed up the hole. 

Chuck watched at her go, though her walk got cut short. She froze in her place and he knew something was wrong, and in a split second, she was on the cold ground, yelling her lungs out.

“Shit, shit, shit, hold on, Hannah! Medic!! Medic!!” he yelled as he let his rifle in the hole, crawling to check on the brunette. 

As soon as he turned her body around, his face grimaced in shock. She had blood flowing from her side into her cheek, eyes and mouth, as she gasped for a breath, steam coming from her mouth from the sheering cold. 

He moved her hair slowly, uncovering what was left of her ear, hanging from skin threads, almost completely shredded from her skull. It was an awful view, and the crimson liquid kept flowing and flowing. 

“What is it? Let me see, Grant, move!” Eugene Roe exclaimed, pushing the other soldier aside, checking the wound thoroughly. Hannah had stopped yelling, shock had settled in her body, covering her from the pain. 

“It’s superficial, but you will need someone to cut off the rest. Help me get her to the jeep, Grant,” he said after covering the hole with sulfate and a white bandage that went across her face. 

“Hannah, you’re going to be just fine, stay with us, come on!” Eugene yelled as Chuck lifted her from her back and legs, her face falling into his shoulder, bleeding on his jacket. 

Chuck glanced at her every few moments as he ran to where her ride was stationed, she looked paler by the second that passed, her eyes were closing and he had to keep calling at her to stay awake.

“Hannah, come on, come on, stay with me, stay with me!”

When she was finally strapped down the bed on the front of the sheet, he held her hand for a second before she was pulled away, disappearing into the woods as he had to ran back to his foxhole and keep defending their territory. 

But he kept wondering and wondering about her, until she came back two days after. 

“You came back almost good as new, ear-less, stitched up,” Chuck said, reminiscing.

“And I had to tolerate thousands of ear related jokes for weeks, and got called ‘Earnnah’ too” Hannah said, making them both laugh.

“Fucking Luz and his nicknames,” Charles said, shrugging.

“Anyways, I still don’t have an ear, but the flu I was going through had clogged my eardrum and saved me from being deaf on one side, right?” Hannah added, lifting her beer bottle to cheer for that.

“To the flu, baby!” he said and both drank.

A couple of hours went by and both Chuck and Hannah were already feeling more comfortable in each other’s presence. They laughed about some anecdotes, and updated on their current lifestyles.

“So, a tobacco store?” Hannah said, standing under the sun in the backyard, enjoying the warmth of a summer afternoon, much more relaxed. 

“Yeah, it was my post war dream, and I finally gathered what I needed to open it, it’s in downtown, 5th ave and Charleston. It’s cosy, small, but good enough to sell small things,” Chuck explained, clearly proud of his achievement. “You should come by sometime”. 

“I would, but I quit smoking a few weeks ago,” Hannah replied and Chuck looked surprised. 

“Really?” he asked, propping himself against a column he had set to sustain a small roof he had put up in his yard. 

“Yeah, but I’ll probably hit withdrawal soon and I’ll go back to square one quickly,” she replied, mocking herself and her power of will, making Chuck laugh.

“You still sing?” Chuck asked, and she knew exactly why he asked. “I still remember when we found that piano in the Eagle’s Nest, and you sang a few songs to us,” he said and a very small grin creeped up his lips, looking down at his hands. 

That was one of Hannah’s proudest moments. 

“I do remember that, and I still sing, yeah.”

The war had lightened up, somehow. 

Easy Company was on the works to clear the way into the old Nazi Town of Kehlsteinhaus, where they knew, at the top of the mountain, resides the crown jewel of the Nazi Party. A very glamorous house made only for Hitler and his closests friends. 

Winters dictated for the Easy Company to head straight to the Eagle’s Nest, after raiding the town and finding a place to settle for a bit. 

Hannah heard Speirs yelling the orders and they didn’t even think for a second before they started running up the mountain road towards the House. She ran next to Chuck, Popeye and Malarkey. 

They entered the premises slowly, looking around for Krauts, their guns up in arms. And all of them were surprised by the size of the place from the inside. 

It had grey walls, with bay windows every few meters, the sun shining through, illuminating the whole place. There were a few tables with a few chairs each, some silver plates and vases scattered around the living room, a fireplace, and on the far end, a grand, black and shiny piano. 

Hannah was immediately drawn to it, forgetting about the men popping bottles of champagne they found lying around, remembering instantly the songs her grandfather had once taught her when she was younger. 

The boys weren’t paying attention until they heard the first few notes Hannah pressed on. 

“Davis, you can play?” Spiers asked her as they got closer. 

I waited till I saw the sun, don’t know why I didn’t come

Hannah started singing, as a way to reply Speirs. 

Chuck was certainly taken aback by her singing voice, she had never mentioned before she could do that, that she had even learned or anything she did apart from training for the paratroopers and hang with Shifty. 

When I saw the break of day

I wished that I could fly away

Instead of kneeling in the sand

Catching teardrops in my hand

Her fingers seemed to be dancing around the keys like she had been doing that for a lifetime, as her voice shone through the notes she played. There was a sudden peace brought by the song, which no one could remember having heard before that moment. 

Chuck sensed his body relaxing, as he looked at the brunette who met his eyes not too long after.

My heart is drenched in wine

But you'll be on my mind

Forever

For a fleeting moment, Chuck felt no one was there but him and Hannah, as she kept singing, his breath catching in his chest, leaving him breathless. He knew he had been looking at Hannah with different eyes for a while, but he never actually realized it completely until that moment. 

Something has to make you run

I don't know why I didn't come

I feel as empty as a drum

I don't know why I didn't come

I don't know why I didn't come

“From then on, you guys would ask me to sing every time we found a piano laying somewhere in the abandoned cottages,” Hannah remembered, smiling at the memory. 

“Well, you do have a beautiful voice that puts everyone at ease, you know,” he complimented and Hannah could feel how her pulse accelerated at his compliment, cursing herself internally for being so weak for her former NCO. 

“It's mid-afternoon, care for a tea?” Charles asked, when he noticed her blushing, not answering his compliment, knowing he had hit somewhere inside her with it. 

“I can make a quick cake with anything you have in your kitchen, if you want to…” Hannah said, almost rushedly, trying to cover her tracks. Yeah, that doesn’t sound weird at all, Hannah, you fucking wuss, offering to bake a cake after a couple of hours chatting and trying to cover your stupid feelings, sure, yeah. 

“Kitchen’s all yours,” Chuck said with a grin, looking for his kettle to boil water while Hannah looked for her ingredients for a classic vanilla cake. 

As Hannah whisked the ingredients, Chuck served two mugs with boiling tea, placing one next to her as he watched her focused in his kitchen. 

“I swear, most men of the company don’t have all this stuff laying in their kitchen,” she said, still looking down at the mix.

“I’m not most men,” Chuck replied and both chuckled at his comment. “Oh, look here,” he said suddenly, making Hannah turn around.

A black cat with a small bell in his neck walked in, stretching its legs, and walked up to Chuck, placing its front paws in the dirty blonde legs. 

“This is Roe, I got him a few months ago, he walked in with a broken hind leg and never left this house,” Chuck explained, taking the cat into his arms, which made him start purring loudly. Hannah proceeded to pet him, sliding her fingertips slowly in the soft fur of the head. 

“He’s so handsome!” 

“Thank you,” replied Charles, earning a small slap in his arm by Hannah, who chuckled as she kept petting the kitty. 

“You saying you took care of this kitty reminded me of that nun who changed my bandages in Foye, in that church, remember that? She came straight to me, wondering how a woman is in the Forces, and silently, pulled my face and cleaned me up,” Hannah said, remembering the face of the woman in the black typical suit of a nun. 

“She didn’t treat anyone but you, which was either great or very selfish of her,” Chuck said, jokingly.

“She was in a convent, they take care of women mostly, and I am one, so…” she trailed off, wanting to slap the grin out of his face as she felt her heart melting to the view of Chuck, holding a cat between his arms like a child. My uterus is flipping about. “It’s not like no one took care of you boys.” 

“What are you talking about?” Chuck wondered. 

“Holland. All those women, and food, and drinks, and praising,” Hannah said as she put the mix in the oven. She could hear Charles laughing at her comments.

 “I wasn’t doing anything there, I did accept food though.” 

“Oh, Chuck, come on, I saw you with that blonde that was taller than you, kissing you non-stop,” Hannah exclaimed, way too quickly for her comfort, and turned around, pretending to check on the oven temperature; Could you be any more obvious, Hannah, dear?

“You sound jealous,” Chuck replied, with a smirk and furrowed eyebrows.

“I—okay, yes, I was; everyone was treating you all like goddamn heroes and whatnot, while I got questionable looks and fingers pointing at me for being a woman in a uniform… Hell, they must have thought I was the squad’s whore or something,” she defended herself, trying to not blow her cover that easy in front of his intense eyes looking at her from a few meters. 

Chuck felt bad for a moment. He knew she was proud of being the first woman fighting alongside men in a war, knowing she had earned the respect of many, many people, but there was still a long way to go to be accepted by the population in general. 

“Yeah, I wanted someone to kiss me too and give me drinks, I deserved that too, I didn’t have any physical contact with anyone as much as y’all in that time,” Hannah kept going, the anxiousness to cover herself up from showing feelings almost drowning her. 

“I’m sure you would’ve gotten a kiss if you just asked,” replied Chuck, taking a sip from his tea while still holding Roe. “I would have if you asked me.”

Did my heart just stop? Did it just… really stop? Quick, don’t linger in silence too much!

“You’ve always been such a gentleman, Grant, but that was impossible. First, we were in the Forces together and that was very forbidden. Second, I couldn’t ask people for that, that’s just sad and I didn’t look like any of the women there, my hair wasn’t done, I was wearing our uniform and probably didn’t smell the best there,” Hannah clarified, trying to not sound too rushed again. 

“Okay, yeah, partially true, but you don’t need to be all fixed up to be pretty, though.”

He knows and now he wants to play soccer with my fucking heart. Goodness, I hope he doesn’t know.

“To be honest, it’s not like I came back to the states and started dating and whatnot… I did adopt a dog, his name is Trigger, like the one Tab had back in the day,” Hannah said, trying to clear herself. “Oh, and Tab asked me out like a year ago,” she suddenly remembered. 

“Floyd?! R—really?” Chuck asked, clearly surprised. 

“Yeah, he showed up once, with flowers and everything. It was so sweet but Tab is like my little brother, so I let him down slowly and luckily, he accepted it and we’re still friends,” she explained, remembering how disappointed he looked for a second before she explained herself to him and he took it with humour and saved their friendship from awkwardness. 

All the while, Chuck laughed heartily. 

“What? Oh, don’t laugh at him! He’s so sweet, he was always nice with me, even when most doubted the presence of a woman at war, come on,” Hannah defended Talbert, throwing a paper towel ball straight to his face. 

“Hey! No need to get violent!” Chuck retaliated, throwing it back at her. “I can’t believe little ol’ Tab asked you out,” he added, chuckling. 

“You’re all always making fun of people who ask me out or flirt with me,” Hannah added, a sneer creeping up her lips. “Remember that one British soldier?” 

The Company had saved a hundred and forty brit soldiers, without any casualties. Everyone walked back to camp cheerfully but in silence until they entered the barn. 

Hannah didn’t feel as cheerful as the rest. She had been carrying a small infection under her tongue for a few days and cramps were attacking her every now and again, which she didn’t share with anyone trying to avoid some sexist comment about the nature of women. 

Booze was being passed around the brits and the company as everyone cheered and applauded for their exceptional work. Hannah did enjoy seeing all the grins and wide smiles spread around, while she stood in the side, leaning against a thin wooden column, rubbing her back to ease the pain. 

“Moose Heyliger and the American 101st have done the Red Devils a great service, making it possible for us to return and fight the enemy another day,” the captain of the British soldiers exclaimed to the crowd of paratroopers and the Red Devils. “To Easy Company, victory, and Currahee!”

Everyone cheered, drinking profusely, laughing and all around happy, until the same captain interrupted them for a second.

“Oh, and let us not forget to cheer for one more thing: the first woman in the Forces who was part of this mission, Miss…” 

Hannah wasn’t paying attention, she was completely zoned out on the side, until she heard her name being called a few times. She looked up to the Captain, who had his drink up and looking at her.

“Oh—Oh, Hannah, Hannah Davis!” she replied, a little startled. 

“To Hannah Davis!” The cheers erupted once again, but everyone was now looking at Hannah, who blushed furiously at the attention she was receiving. She just gave them all a tight lipped smile, her eyes drifting from one side to another. 

“So, congratulations are in order, ma’am.” A thick British accent interrupted Hannah’s thoughts a while after she had been cheered on. She turned around to find a tall man with a buzz cut, his red beret and a pointy nose. And a very warm smile. 

“Thank you, private…?”

“Joe Seaward, and it’s Sergeant now,” he clarified, taking his beret off as he took a drink. “How is the Force treating you? Good, I hope?”

“Very good, sir, they feel like family already. At first it was weird for them, but I was vouched for by the Battalion chief, and one of the men, who is an old friend from his hometown,” she replied, feeling slightly intimidated by the brit. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling comfortable. And hometown! Where would that be, if I may ask?” 

“Atlanta, Georgia. Can I ask you where are you from?” she asked, looking up at him. Hannah could feel the eyes of Easy on them, but she didn’t dare to look back at them. 

“Birmingham, born and raised,” Joe replied, looking proud. “Uh, anyone expecting you back home?” he suddenly asked, and Hannah understood what he was referring to. 

“No, apart from family, no one special,” she replied, and just got interrupted by another voice yelling at them.

“Sergeant Seaward! We’re leaving, come on!” Joe looked annoyed all of a sudden. 

“Well, ma’am, if this isn’t too forward, when this war is over, and luckily, we’re both still alive and well, why don’t you stay in England for a while and… maybe we can go to dinner together?” He said, rushing as he took a few steps back. 

Hannah thought for a second and, feeling like she had nothing to lose and after not being flirted by anyone in two years, she replied “Sure, Sergeant, if we both survive…”. 

Joe smirked deeply and quickly found a paper and a battered small pencil, scribbling in it and placed it in her hands, before kissing the back of it. 

“You’ll find me with that. Take care, Hannah Davis! Cheerio!” 

Hannah felt like a child meeting her first crush, blushing, with a dumb smile in her face, until she heard the sniggering paratroopers behind her. 

“What?” she asked, already looking annoyed at them as she turned to find them in a half circle around her.

“What was that ‘bout, Davis?” Bull asked with one lifted eyebrow. 

“Nothing–”

“Not nothing, that brit was flirting with you!” Liebgott exclaimed, his lip curled as his eyes darted between the door of the barn and her. 

“The fuck is the problem with that?” Hannah asked.

“No fraternization with soldiers in the Forces,” Chuck added, looking down at his hands. 

“Oh, fuck all of you. It’s the first time someone comes and tells me I’m pretty in two years, when y’all had women throwing themselves at you back at Eindhoven!” Hannah defended herself, shutting them all up. “It’s not like I’m actually going to do something about it, I might be dead tomorrow anyways”. 

“He looks stupid and he’s a brit, we’re all a better catch than him!” Martin added, inflating his chest. 

“The only decent man here is Doc Roe, and you all know that for a fact. I’m going to sleep for a bit, goodnight” she said, walking away from them, breaking the half circle without looking back. 

“I still have that small, battered piece of paper with me, but I never went to see him,” Hannah added, smirking at the thought. “I should’ve stayed in England and find him, honestly”. 

Chuck frowned, “why? Was he really that interesting?”. 

“He was sweet, he had a very attractive accent and hell, how many men do you know that say ‘cheerio!’ When saying goodbye?” Hannah defended Sergeant Seaward.

“Oh, stop talking talking about him already” Chuck said, dismissing her comments with a frown.

“Who’s jealous now, huh?” Hannah joked, pushing him slightly. Chuck just laughed bitterly.

///

Chuck showed her around the house, apologizing for forgetting to do a tour when she first came in.

He showed him some old pictures he had from high school that his mom had taken of him, some of his own family, and even a photo from a high school girlfriend he still had. Charles told him they were still in contact because her family was close to his, until he went to the war and she moved out of the usual address. 

“It’s like the time I was away, fighting, home became a black hole in my memory, like…It couldn’t possibly exist at the same time I was away.” 

Hannah enjoyed learning more from his past, and suddenly wondered if he had ever known what happened and how Easy reacted when they found out he had gotten shot. 

Charles was looking down at a picture when she popped the question. 

“Chuck, did you uh—did anyone ever tell you what happened with Easy when you… When that replacement shot you?” 

He suddenly took a seat on the couch, looking up at her. There was something on his eyes that she couldn’t decipher, but it was between fear and curiosity; his fingers went to linger over his scar absentmindedly. 

“No, I—the guys never told me anything, and I didn’t dare to ask, honestly.” 

“Do you, uh… Do you want to know?” Hannah asked. Chuck nodded, his lips seeming sewn shut. She took a seat next to him, the air suddenly completely filled with tension. 

“Well, you had patrol and we were relaxing in the house, playing cards, some asleep, most smoking and chatting about the end of the war. Also about the points, but, that’s not important.”

“Then, the door of the living room burst open with a pale, very pale and shook Tab. ‘Grant got shot in the head’ was the first thing he muttered. You know, there wasn’t any music around us, but it seemed like it had stopped. The relaxing atmosphere was cut off like when the lights go out with a switch.” Chuck was staring at her, his attention fully on her. 

“But we didn’t have that much time to like… process. Floyd had received orders to find the shooter, and we practically went around the whole town and the ones nearby looking for him. We had the order to bring him alive but neither wanted to lose the chance to put a bullet in him. We were organized in groups, and we divided in three or four people each.”

“We ended up finding him still in Zell Am See. Malarkey found him with Bull and Lieb, they found him trying—” She took a pause, her stomach turning slightly at the memory— “trying to rape an Austrian girl. She was saved, thankfully, and he was brought back to the house where he took the beating of his lifetime”

By that point, Chuck jaw was opened, but his eyes seemed calmer, somehow.

“Did you beat him too?” he asked. Hannah suddenly broke eye contact, looking down at her fingernails fidgeting together.

“Yes, but I only punched him, the rest did the real beating… I was so angry when I found out he was in the house, I burst through the door and went straight with my knuckles to his jaw. I had my hand bruised for weeks. You were away at that point, Speirs and Roe had found a Kraut brain surgeon and got him to work in you as soon as they could. But we didn’t know if you were alive or not. After the rest took their turn with the replacement, Speirs had come back, saying the surgeon confirmed you were going to be okay; then they dragged the son of a bitch over to the MP’s.”

Hannah felt ashamed, her body seemed to be burning when the memories of that moment revived in her.

“I was so scared you were gonna die, Chuck… I wasn’t there when Speirs confirmed you were going to be okay, and I just—I lost it at that moment,” she added, a knot forming in her throat. “Lieb found me, while I was sitting in a room upstairs, on a bed, in the dark, cursing and crying. It wasn’t only you that made me cry, but… I cared about you, you know. You were my friend, we went through the worst together and I thought I had lost y—,” Hannah’s voice broke, and a single tear rolled down her cheek. 

“Hey, hey, Hannah, I’m here, aren’t I?” Chuck said, scooting closer, placing a hand on her knee and another rubbing her back. “I’m sorry for scaring you like that…”

At that, Hannah snorted while she teared up.

“What are you apologizing for? For getting shot? Jesus, Charles, you didn’t ask for it, did you?” she joked through the tears and broken voice, making both laugh cynically. Hannah lifted her head and looked at him, and noticed how his eyes were watery. He sniffed as he tried to recompose himself, his hands never leaving the brunette.

“No, I know, but… I’m okay, you s—see? I just speak like I’m dumb or something now,” he joked. 

Suddenly, something took over Hannah and she hugged him, with her arms surrounding his shoulders completely. Chuck was taken aback at first, but he then wrapped his arms around her waist and stayed there for a moment, neither muttered a word, only sniffs and breathing could be heard. 

Hannah laughs, then smiles down at the picture of a younger Chuck. Some things change, and some things stay the same forever. Chuck is one of those things that never changes.

After a while, after a hug that helped both recompose and even sort of heal wounds that can’t be seen, they went back to rummage through old photos. 

“Oh, look at this one,” Chuck said, pulling a picture from his teenage years, where he was in just his underwear, surrounded by kids holding different pieces of clothing cheerfully “that was in the middle of summer, we were trying to fight the heat with water balloons and I got so soaked, my brother and my friends convinced me to take them off so they could dry. Me, being stupid and young, did so and they stole them and ran away.” 

Hannah laughed loudly, looking at Charles with apologetic eyes.

“How could you be so naive?” She asked, between laughs. 

“Hey, if I remember correctly, you got your clothes stolen once, in Haguenau! And you know it sucks, doesn’t it?” Chuck replied, jabbing his index on Hannah’s arm. 

Hannah had survived Bastogne, with the scarring of her life and one less ear. Everyone was changed, they had lost many men there, including Toye and Guarnere, Muck and Penkala, and lost Buck to shellshock. 

These days passed with nothing much to do but waiting for orders, some training, and finally, after the snow had passed, winter clothes. 

Second Platoon was stationed in a tall, two-story house, with many rooms, filled with beds and some tables. It was battered, most wallpapers looked torn, and the smell of humidity and gunpowder filling everyone’s nostrils.

On a cold morning, Hannah came back to the second floor, where Malarkey was introducing the new Lieutenant Jones to the men.

“Sir?” her voice, smaller than ever, turned everyone around. Some had to take a second look to be sure what they were looking at. 

“What happened to you?!” Don exclaimed, his jaw dropped. 

Hannah was shirtless. She was holding herself trying to keep the warmth of her body, with only a bra, pants and boots on. She looked red in the face, from the shame. Hannah could sense the eyes on her body, taking notice of every single scar she was sporting, and the bandage that was covering one on the side of her hip. 

“I was changing bandages, I turned for a second to get the sulfate and I heard someone running and laughing. I thought there were just some men playing around but they had taken my clothes, sir…” she explained. Everyone could hear the anger in her voice, her jaw clenching tight. 

“Jesus fuck,” Malarkey muttered, while Chuck proceeded to pull the sweater he used under his jacket and quickly helped Hannah put it on. “Lieb, MccLung, Jackson, go find the fuckers who did this, report to Speirs”. 

“I’m sorry, Malark, I—I didn’t want to make any trouble, really, I—,”

“No, don’t apologize. This isn’t your fault, okay? Here, it probably smells but it’s better than nothing, I’ll have someone find some clothes if they don’t find yours,” Malarkey said, giving her his scarf, and went back to speak with Lt. Jones, who only nodded to her as a salute. 

“Come on, we made some coffee,” said Chuck, pulling her to where the kettle was in a corner. “Are you okay?”.

“Yeah,” was all she said, hiding herself in her copper mug, drinking the awful coffee they have been given. Then Chuck did something that she wasn’t expecting, but calmed her nerves quite quickly: his palm met the top of her head, and ran down her hair slowly. 

Hannah had seen the men do that to each other, when they had panic attacks or after the death of a fellow soldier, they would hold their heads or run their fingers through their hair. It seemed like a paternal way to hold them close and not let them fall into the abyss of desperation war brings in people. 

And now she felt it herself. Chuck’s fingers brought peace into her body, into her mind. She closed her eyes he kept going, enjoying that as well as the steam from the coffee meeting her cold skin. 

///

Not too long after, and from a window, Hannah and Chuck saw MccLung and Lieb dragging two soldiers from their jackets to Speirs and Winters. Joe talked furiously, clearly explaining what the two men did. 

Hannah chuckled cynically, knowing Speirs would have them doing the worst jobs for the Platoon. 

Her happiness didn’t last long, though. After getting new clothes, returning Chuck’s sweater, she found out, alongside the rest, that they had a patrol to get to at one past midnight. 

Everyone dreaded it, mostly because Second Platoon had lost the most people since Bastogne, and they still wanted them to do a senseless mission. They were ordered to cross the river into German territory and take prisoners to get intel. 

They still had hours to kill before heading to enemy territory, so Hannah decided to find some place to nap, after fixing and cleaning her guns and getting more ammo. 

She wandered around Second Platoon’s house until she found a room on the second floor. She opened the door, walking inside, and instantly found a sleeping body on top of the bed. 

“What? What?!” it said startled and looked up. Hannah didn’t notice at first but as soon as some light shone through the bullet holes on the wooden panels in the window, she saw Grant’s face. 

“Oh, sorry Chuck, I was looking for some place to sleep, I’ll leave you to—,”

“No, no, it’s fine… we can share,” he said from the dark, she could hear his hand patting the bed. 

Hannah thought for a second. She was exhausted, her body was still cold and there probably wasn’t a better bed in the whole house to nap in. 

So, she closed the door behind her and left her jacket and rifle on the floor, and climbed under the wool blanket. 

Under it, she was met instantly with Chuck’s warmth, her side wasn’t cold, as she expected it to be. There was calm, so much calm it was a bit unsettling for Hannah; last time she felt it, mortars fell from the sky and took her friends with the blast. 

But there was something about the gentleness of Chuck’s breathing that helped her, which she couldn’t explain, but silently thanked him for it. 

A few minutes passed when Hannah turned to her side, facing Chuck, who was already positioned on his side. She was unable to fall fully asleep, which was normal when someone tries to relax during a war. 

Hannah just stayed there in silence, eyes closed, her hand dropped on the mattress near her face, when she felt Chuck’s hand a few inches from hers. 

For a moment, she wanted to grab it. 

Hannah had noticed for a while that she was closer with Chuck than with the rest of the men. It was an odd friendship; it’s not like they talked for hours and hours on end but mostly in silence or with hushed, short conversations. But when she was with him, she didn’t feel as much fear as with the rest or alone in a foxhole. 

But he had always been there for her, like she was for him. Through every loss, through every problem. There was an implicit deep trust between them that neither acknowledged with words, but with simple actions. 

And to her, he was certainly an attractive man; with dirty blonde hair, an inviting smile, always polite and shy. And Hannah knew she had felt sometimes a bit of a butterfly in her stomach when he smiled at her. 

Suddenly, her thoughts were hushed when she felt his fingers wrap around hers. 

Hannah didn’t open her eyes, afraid they would show how much speed her blood pressure gained in a split second. But she did reciprocate, after a moment, moving her hand so his fingers intertwined with hers. 

Neither moved, neither spoke nor opened their eyes. And finally, both fell asleep until Liebgott woke them up a couple of hours later.

He opened the door loudly, letting in some light. Both Hannah and Chuck sat up quickly, startled and disheveled, looking at Joe like he was crazy. 

Joe looked at both with a deep, playful smirk before saying, “We have the meeting at CP in ten minutes, let’s go, come on.”

Thankfully, Joe didn’t notice that Hannah and Chuck were still holding hands under the sheet; but when they caught it, as Lieb left, they quickly unwrapped them and rushed to get their things, without saying another word to each other.

///

Night came around nicely. 

Both Hannah and Chuck were enjoying their time. Hannah had clearly relaxed, mostly after they had talked about what happened to the NCO, feeling like she had let go of a heavy weight she carried on her shoulders. 

Charles offered for her to stay for dinner when the brunette said she still had to walk her dog, even though she knew Angelina had probably done that already. He insisted, saying the leftovers taste even better reheated on the grill. 

Hannah laughed and agreed to stay, as long as she could help with it. Her day has been better than expected, way better. But she still had that small pebble in her shoe about her feelings towards Chuck. A part of her yelled that she should come clean to him, and be done with it, no matter the result. The other part also yelled that his friendship was more valuable than risking it for something more.

But the tiny voice in her head still insisted with No, no! He doesn’t feel that way. He hasn’t flirted with you, or showed some clear sign of attraction, Hannah! Have dinner and pretend it’s all good. 

“Hey, can I ask you something? This might sound a bit weird,” Hannah said, with a sneaky smile while Chuck revamped the grill. The former NCO just nodded in response. “Why aren’t you married?” 

Chuck snorted, looking surprised and slightly offended. “Aren’t you the one that used to complain that women are always pressured to get married, and maybe they shouldn’t if they don't want to?” He asked, almost complaining. 

Hannah laughed and put her hands up in her defense.

“I don’t mean it like that, Charles Grant! I just… I’m surprised a man like you, who does all this, isn’t at least dating someone,” she clarified. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t dating someone,” he replied, without looking at her.

There it is! So, that’s what it's like to get your heart punched, huh? 

“Oh, yeah, I mean—Of course, sorry–,” Hannah added, suddenly stumbling upon her words as she felt her hands shake slightly. 

Chuck snorted again, this time a hearty laugh escaping his lips. 

“I’m not Hannah, I’m not seeing anybody at the moment,” he added, smiling as he moved the charcoal around the grill. 

Hannah had a rush of anger suddenly, wanting to throw something at him and yell you fucking asshole, I’m in love with you, do not do that to me!!!

But she held herself in, looking rather unphased, and just nodded disapprovingly. 

“I, well… I haven’t met the right woman, you know? I’ve seen some people, yeah. Babe set me up once with this redhead who could’ve been Malarkey’s sister for all I knew and it was going good at first but… Fuck, I was so bored!” he said, showing the annoyance in his face at the memory. “She was nice and all, but she was just… so fucking boring. She talked about her hair and stuff she does with her lady friends and she hated when I told stories about the war.”

Now it was Hannah’s turn to laugh. “She hated it? Why?”. 

“Who the fuck knows, maybe it was too g—ory for her, or she didn’t want to hear that one of the men was being called ‘Gonorrhea’. Hell, she didn’t even want to hear how I got the scar in my head or rather, the explanation of my slurring when I speak and my lack of strength on my left side,” Chuck said and sounded rather offended. 

“Someone has to either appreciate your scar and the sequels, or get the fuck out of your way,” Hannah said, approaching him with a beer in hand. “Don’t ever feel ashamed for that, Chuck, I’m not ashamed of having one ear, honestly. I think it’s pretty nice. Who can say that is different when their bodies are complete and in perfect state?”. 

“It’s boring, isn’t it?” he added.

“You and me, Chuck, are different. And that’s good. Toye and Guarnere have one less leg each, they’re fucking awesome too.” 

Hannah’s heart leaped at the sight of Chuck looking suddenly proud of himself, and when he looked at her to clink their bottles, she could’ve sworn that, if she had the ovaries, she would’ve kissed him right there and then.

///

After dinner and a few more laughs, Hannah called it a night. 

Her heart felt slightly heavy for not having dared to confess what she was there to do in the first place. 

“Well, my dear Grant, I have to head home,” she said, as she put plates down the water in sink. 

“Already?” Chuck replied, looking surprised.

“It’s almost ten in the night!” she exclaimed, drying her hands on a towel that hung from the oven door handle. 

“Want me to call you a cab? Lieb is probably still around working with his.” 

“No, don’t worry, I’ll walk. It’s fine,” Hannah replied, and started walking towards the door with Chuck on tow. 

Both stood on the porch, looking around the calm neighborhood. Hannah was feeling so ashamed of herself, slapping herself mentally every second that passed. 

“Well, Hannah, this was a great surprise,” Chuck started, breaking her thoughts for a moment, “we should do this more often, maybe with the guys, sometime, before winter leaves us secluded in our homes.” 

“Of course, but let’s not wait two years this time,” she replied, with a smile creeping up her lips, looking at him. God, how can someone dare be this good looking?

Chuck proceeded to hug her like when he opened the door past noon, when she showed up at his doorstep. Hannah reciprocated, and drowned herself once again in his cologne, not wanting to let go or stop feeling his hands around her body.

“See ya, Davis,” Chuck said as she walked down the steps and she took one last look at him before heading home. 

You fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking wuss, you fucking, pathetic     w—

“Hannah! Wait!” 

Chuck’s voice startled her as she was reaching the crossroad, when she turned around to find him running towards her. 

Her heart raced, wondering why the hell was he yelling at her for. Maybe she had forgotten something. Yeah, that’s all, I might have forgotten my… keys? 

“Hannah, wait, I… I have to tell you something and this can’t wait…” Chuck started as soon as he caught up to her. “Listen, this might sound weird but… a while ago I—you appeared in a dream of mine. You were talking to me after I got shot and you were begging me to not forget you.”

“Hannah, I took it upon myself to find you but I was meeting only dead ends, the Army wouldn’t help me so I had to… fuck, I had to find Winters and ask him for your information. God, that was embarrassing, but you know Winters, he didn’t hesitate to help. I had your address and phone numbers for months, but I never had the guts to go knock on your door… I thought you might have forgotten me, but… I never forgot about you,”

“I never forgot how we shared a foxhole during our hardest time. I never forgot how we slept in that bed and held hands in the dark. I never forgot how you took care of me when I had that one panic attack in Bastogne, and everything else,”

“What I mean, Hannah, is… I love you. I can’t date other women because they’re not you, and all I want is you. So… please, don’t leave. Not now. I couldn’t believe my eyes when you showed up at my door, fuck, I thought I was dreaming or dead. You had found me and I—,”

Before Chuck could follow through with his speech, Hannah took him by the face and kissed him. 

It was bruising, it was desperate and filled with love. Chuck wrapped his arms around her body, bringing her impossibly close to his body as her fingers found his hair. 

The anticipation was their favorite feeling. They both sensed how long they waited for that to happen, so they sank deeper into it. 

It went on for a few minutes, the night time seemed to have stopped for both, like everything had disappeared except for them. 

After they parted, both panting, their foreheads connected, Hannah opened her eyes and found Chuck’s cheeks stained with tear trails and that explained the salty taste in his lips. That made her smile widely as she still held his hand between hers. 

“Can you—do you want to s–spend the night with me?” Chuck asked, opening his eyes finally. 

Hannah just smiled widely, pecking his lips as she pulled him by the wrist towards his house.

///

Making love to someone you have craved for years makes the hours longer.

Both Hannah and Chuck were sure of that while the latter moaned loudly as Hannah rode him; his hands were bruising against her hips as she moved, holding herself in his shoulders, kissing him every now and again. 

Hannah never thought she would see Chuck like this. With sweat rolling down his forehead, his lips swollen and his eyes squeezed shut; to see his naked torso and his chest heaving up and down, which was covered in different scars that only made him even better looking in her opinion.

The man was almost ethereal in the dim light of his bedroom.

She enjoyed every bit of him as much as she could, like that could’ve been a fleeting figment of her imagination that she had to hold tight between her fingers before it could slip away. 

But reality brought her back when she felt the pain of his fingers digging into her hips. Hannah didn’t mind one bit.

She just loved to see how overwhelmed with pleasure he was, how he propped himself into his elbows, wrapping a hand around her bottom to carry both into the bed frame so he could sit and find her lips with his as he rode into his climax. 

Of course, Chuck being the gentleman he was, caring, he helped Hannah ride into hers, enjoying how she cried out his name loudly like it was the best song he had ever heard. 

///

Chuck’s fingers ran down Hannah’s bare shoulders, enjoying the dampness. It was soft, it was warm and it also a tad bit freckled. His fingertips followed down her arm until they met her face, that laid upon the back of her hands as she laid in her stomach. 

 Her eyes were closed but she was still awake. Hannah was just soaking on everything that happened through the day, and now, through the night, as the clock ticked into two in the morning. 

Chuck sat parallel to her, and his fingertips went all the way back to walk down her shoulder blades, into the deep line of her spine, meeting a few moles spread out here and there, which sent very slight tickles to the brunette. 

“I kind of can’t believe this just happened” he muttered, turning to lay his head on the small of her back. He could feel the vibration of the small laugh she let go at his comment.

“Me neither, Chuck… but I, uh… I have a confession, which I think will make you laugh,” Hannah replied.

“Do go on…” he replied.

“You told me you looked for my information with Winters, right?” Hannah asked.

“Right”.

“Well, when I looked for you too… I did the same,” she said and felt his head suddenly turn to her at her words, “and when I said your name, he gave me a weird look, but now I know it was a ‘I know something important about this that you don’t know’ look”. 

“So, wait, we l—ooked for each other in the past few months, and we did exactly the same shit?” he said, struggling slightly. 

Hannah heard the clicker of the lighter and looked back at him, lightning a cigarette with a shit eating grin sprawled upon his lips. 

“Exactly what I’m saying,” she replied, laying her head back down. 

“Another reason why I would like to marry you, then,” he added, like it was nothing.

What he didn’t notice was the speed in which Hannah’s eyes widened and her heart started thumping inside her rib cage. 

“I’m sorry?!” she asked, sounding a tad bit anxious. Chuck was never one to say rushed things like that. 

“The first reason is how powerful and relentless you were and still clearly are. You know how I know that?” he asked, and she could feel his smile still in his lips.

“No, how?”

“When you confronted Sobel before we went to Holland. Of course, I didn’t know at the moment the amount of feelings I had for you, but… I think I did have some of them roaming inside me,” Chuck said, like he was the one who stood up to Herbert Sobel, “but that was just plain hot,” he finalized, and turned to look at her; Hannah was just looking at him like he was crazy. 

The night before, everyone was cheering for their job. They were done, they were bound to the States and all the Easy Company wanted to do was drink and laugh. 

For everyone’s demise, Lipton announced how they were heading back into war, to Holland, killing the mood instantly. 

As the replacements were getting helped and guided by Bull, rather than Cobb, who could only brag about stuff he never ever did; Chuck was packing her stuff near Malarkey, Bill and Hannah. 

“I swear I thought by this time I was gonna be home, with a hundred in my pocket, flowers for my mama and nearing Christmas with my nieces and nephews” Malarkey said, fixing his bayonet. The rest scoffed, still bitter by the news.

“I miss the coffee from hometown, there’s this beautiful place in Hamstown Square, it’s very small and cozy, and the pastries are the most delicious I’ve ever had” Hannah said, looking like she was talking about the love of her life. 

“Guys, look!” Bull said, interrupting them, pointing to their right.

On a jeep, carrying some stuff behind it, sat Herbert Sobel, their former CO, the nightmare that trained them back in Toccoa. Hannah knew she didn’t train with him as much as the rest, but a year with that man was more than enough. 

“Fuck, no…” Hannah whispered so just the boys around her heard her “No, not him”.

“Don’t—Pretend he’s not here,” Malarkey said to her, tying the loose ends of her parachute to her shoulders as Skip came to them scowling like the rest. “Y’all too, do not look at him”. 

Neither obliged, all of them stared at the man passing by. 

“The hell is he doing here?” Skip wondered, without getting an answer.

Sobel walked in a straight line near the men as the truck behind his jeep unloaded, looking between the men with his usual air of superiority untouched. 

Unlucky for Hannah, he had met her eyes not too long after, and the man approached her, before the rest could make themselves scarce. 

“Still alive, uh… Davis?” Sobel asked, scowling at the brunette.

“Pretty much, sir. Still teaching at that school… somewhere?” she answered, provoking a few small gasps around her. Sobel scowl just deepened.

“Do not disrespect me with that tone, private” the taller man threatened, his jaw clenching tight. 

“Earn the respect, like you once taught us, and I won’t,” Hannah replied, her tone dripping with bitterness and irony. She felt a hand in her shoulder and knew one of the men was probably trying to calm her down. “You came here and act surprised that I’m still alive? No, I deserve more than that, sir”. 

“You shut your mouth right now, private! This—this is the reason why women shouldn’t be allowed in the army; they’re too emotional!” Sobel exclaimed, almost yelling to get attention, which only made Hannah even more furious.

“If you were in our command, if you were our leader, we would all be dead right now. Don’t you remember that drill we did back in England? Why do you think you were ‘promoted’? And no, I’m not scared of you, go write me up if you want to; Winters is south of the camp, third tent on the right. Colonel Sink is in the next tent to his, the fourth one,” Hannah felt like she couldn’t stop, her anger overcoming her; mountains of words and feelings that were accumulating, finally leaving her chest. 

Chuck couldn’t believe the words that came out of her. 

Everyone awaited without breathing for an answer, a yell from Sobel, something. But nothing came, he just scowled, breathed hard, and before anyone took a breath again, he turned around tight in his heel and left to the back of the truck. 

Hannah took a breath and turned around to finish prepping, when she found many of her fellow paratroopers smiling at her, some nodding in approval even. Johnny Martin crossed by her side, squeezing her arm, as he whispered a small “good one” for her. 

“I fucking hate him, that felt really good”, she said to Chuck, turning to adjust his jumpsuit. 

Chuck just stared at her, feeling hard to believe what just went through. Their former NCO was just bashed in front of everyone, and no one, not even one paratrooper came in his defense. 

His eyes roamed through her face as she fixed his suit and talked about something he wasn’t paying attention to. Suddenly, he was looking at her in a different way, one that would grow over time during the war.

///

The night caught up to Chuck and Hannah, both deep asleep on his bed. The brunette laid her head in his shoulder, on her side, while he was laid in his back, with his cheek against her forehead. 

Though around dawn, Chuck’s body started to shook. It came softly at first, just a few twitches, until it became a whole storm inside him. 

Hannah stirred up and saw how every muscle in his arms and chest were clenched, and he muttering something she couldn’t comprehend. Clearly, he was having a nightmares. The nightmares that seemed to never end, which felt like a punishment that everyone had to endure post war. 

The brunette placed her hands around his head as she whispered, “Chuck, Chuck, it’s okay, it’s just a dream, wake up, love, wake up.” 

His eyes shot open, looking terrified as he gasped for air, his hands fumbling to find her. 

“Hannah, Hannah!” He exclaimed, as he finally met her eyes. His body was shaking until he realized she was there, looking down at him, with a tired, disheveled smile. 

“It’s okay, love, I’m here, I’m here,” she replied, running her fingers through his hair, kissing his cheek before looking down at him again. 

The first light of the sun shining through the white curtains, illuminating both with such warmth it made Hannah’s heart swell. 

“I’m sorry, I’m s—sorry, Hannah, this still happens…” he explains, his hand tight on her side. 

But Hannah just smiles sweetly at him, “it still happens to me too, Chuck, it’s okay, there’s nothing to be sorry about,” she explains, admiring his deep blue eyes. 

“Can you… can you sing to me?” He asked, sounding almost embarrassed to ask for it. 

The touch of your lips upon my face

Your lips that are cool and sweet

Such tenderness lies in their soft caress

My heart forgets to beat

The touch of your hands upon my head

The love in your eyes, ashine

And now at last, the moment divine

The touch of your lips, the love in your eyes

The touch of your lips on mine

Chuck closed his eyes as her singing filled his ears. He haven’t felt peace like at that moment, not since the war. Hugging his mother, playing cards with his brothers or the men from the Company brought joy, but peace; peace came from Hannah, wearing his shirt, at dawn, singing to him. 

And it was the same for Hannah. 

Both knew the nightmares will continue to haunt them, and that their lives will go on, but at least, they were going to go through it together. 

And that was more than enough for them. ///

[shakespeareismydad]

My thought process as I watch season 7 of GoT

-S07E03

-Can Cersei please shut up god, I’m so tired of listening to her talk

-Qyburn can suck a dick

-i have never hated a character more in my life

-this is painful to watch

-oh no not the ince*t, god anything but that, I’m so over it 

-STOP KISSING

-no one cares if you're the queen stop fucking your brother 

-i would love to see cersei burned by a dragon 

-brooding buddies ahaha

-this scene is so pretty, the way his cloak blows in the wind is *chefs kiss* 

-tyrion and jon interacting makes me happy 

-“are you trying to present you're own statements as wise wisdom” PleaSe 

-don’t make me think about robb and rickon PleaSe

-fucking lord baelish ugh

-sansa and her quick fire wit

-there are some chars i cant stand listening to 

-ooh is it arya, please i hope it is, 

-its bran instead oop, didn’t expect that,, hug it OUT 

-bran is so pretty wow

-this is so sweet, the way the snow enhances her hair is *chefs kiss*

-oh no is Sam gonna be in trouble for helping jorah 

-this is nice

-i hope sam doesnt get kicked out of the cidatal 

-GO SAM 

-ive heard so much about Casterly Rock and this is the first time I’m seeing it and tbh the hype wasn’t worth it 

-SECRET TUNNEL!!

-pointy stick go stabby stabby 

-FUCKING EURON AGAIN I SWEAR

-canny hack it, am not enjoying this

-for fuck sake the lannisters are at highgarden and for why

-I still don’t know if i like Jamie Lannister or not

-they aren’t gonna kill ornella, i hope not

-they really think they're gonna win how embarrassing 

-she really just drank the wine

-the fact that jamie is jofferys dad still grosses me out

-S07E04

-pretty op scene 

-Tom Hopper in game of thrones whaattttt

-Oh my god, every time i see cersei i wanna take my eyeballs out

-i don’t trust baelish with bran

-i don’t trust baelish period. 

-imagine giving a kid a dagger that almost killed him i-

-i don’t want meera to leave

--alot of people died for bran ouch 

-wait bran died, hol up, does that hes ACTUALLY the three eyed raven this time 

-ARYA JUST GOT HOME

-they better let arya in 

-Arya gone ahah

-sansa and arya moment, reunited at last

-this moment is kinda sad tbh

-this is so wholesome 

-its sad again, i wish robb and rickon were here too

-”its wasted on a cripple” i bby noo

-brans wheelchair is so nifty

-i love podrick payne

-okay but theyre outfits are kinda bomb

-thats a lot of fucking dragonglass

-secret cave what will it hold

-the children and the first men are smart 

-yess queen fight with them, wait bend the knee i- nevermind

-ion like this, does she really think he’ll bend the knee and the north folk will be happy

-what now

-oh no shes angry and doubting tyrion that cant be good 

-jon is so pretty 

-Daenerys’ shoulder broche thing is so cool, i want one

-brianne and pod training together is so nice

-im so proud of arya, what a bad bitch 

-seeing arya ad brianne train has me shook 

-”I’m a Bastard” me too jon me too

-ITS THEON I MISSED HIM

-uh-oh jon doesn't look happy to see theon

-are they gonna hug

-NO THEY ARENT FINNA HUG, pleas no fighting

-im glad he isnt killing theon

-the queen is gone?! Miss thing where did she go

-i can't get over the fact that tom hopper is in game of Thrones

-Fuck the queen especially Cersei

-its gone all quiet that means something bad is gonna happen oh no

-this shit gives me anxiety

-thats a lot of dothraki

-"we can hold them off" my guy no you cant

-she brought her dragon good luck holding them off now pahahah

-is this where jamie dies, I wouldn't be mad :|

-miss thing its over for them

-everything is going up in flames i- why are they still fight back at this point

-if ser bronn dies I'm gonna be mad

-sliced off the horse leg and for what

-deadass though if bronn dies I'm done

-i have so much anxiety oh no

-thats a big fucking arrow

-tyrion looks so sad oh no

-jamie is gonna die if he does boost soon

-I dont want the Dragons to get hurt ahhh

-i love bronn but king this ain't it

-HE HIT THE DRAGON THAT DANI IS ON I- THIS ISNT GOOD

-he blew the arrow thing up instead

-jamie leave youre going to die

-mayhe I don't want him to die just yet but he should listen to tyrion and fuck off

-ser bronn to the rescue?!?!

-im so stressed out ahaha

S07E05

-canny hack it they almost drowned

-jamie 'the twat' lennister

-tyrion walking through the aftermath makes me uncomfy, feels bad man

-dragon said rawr

-what the fuck kinda option is bend the knee or die

-tyrion murdered his dad and he'll do it again

-Just bend the knee it literally cant be that hard

-is she gonna feed them to the dragons

-oh my God she is, wait shes gonna roast them, that's definitely far worse than bending the knee

-ashes to ashes ig

-Cersei should be worried, Dani has three dragons why do they think they can win

-cersei gives me a headache

-jon is so pretty and for what

-mister dragon needs to chill

-is he gonna eat jon

-oh hes letting jon pet him alrightie

-it's kinda creepy seeing it up close ngl

-"gorgeous beast" PleaSe

-figure of speech yeah sure right mhmm

-didnt you want jorah dead like three seconds ago

-i fucking hate those ravens

-thats a big mountain

-thats a lot of dead folks oofdt

-oh sam

-hes a smart wee lad

-i hope they listen to sam, hes making very good point

-some of these measter are dickhead

-im so tired of bending this fucking knee

-what the fuck is a wet nurse

-how are you gonna bring a wight to the capital

-this is whisky business

-trusting a stranger is never a good idea but okay I guess

-the minute jon leave everyone starts shitting on him, what arseholes

-sansa is so pretty

-im so confused what is happening

- Ion like this

-oh no is jamie gonna kill tyrion

-not tyrion making jokes as if he isnt gonna die

-wheres gendry i miss him

-look at my mans I love him

-he looks so good,, look at him king shit

-pop off gendry with your big hammer thing,, I was not expecting that

-not miss thing tryna get bronn killed for betrayal i- 🤚🏾hold up

-IS SHE PREGNANT AGAIN OG MY FUCKING GOd,, shes really ginns have another ince*t baby i 💀,, cut the fkn camera

-gendry you had one job

-"youre alot leaner,, you're alot shorter" I king PleaSe pahahaha

-tyrion is so pretty

-jon you need to return cause like, I dont want you to die

-wait is sam leaving,, bye big library

-what is lord baelish up too now,, I'm sus

-only copy of what,, what is he doing

-is arya finna break into his room

-i dont like this,, he probably has whatever arya is looking for on him

-he hid it in the mattress that smart ngl

-what is lord baelish plotting,, it's making me unsettled

-"you need to convince the one with the dragons or the one with that fucks her brother" paahahah I cant pLease that's so fuunny

-tormund and jorah fight let's go

-"were all breathing" I mean ya I guess pahaha

-gendry is so pretty

S07E06

-they look so tiny against the snow

-"down south the air smells like pig shit" "you've never been down south" "I've been to winterfell" "that's the north" "pfftt" I love that whole interaction

-does tormund wanna fuck gendry i- pahahah

-hes allowed to be mad at you for selling him

-jorah and jon are having a moment bless them

-arya reminiscing about her dad is so cute and it makes me sad

-oh no they're arguing

-"beloved Joffrey" ouch

-we were getting along so well,, and lord baelish had fucked it up

-"gingers are beautiful" yes they are my guy yes they fucking are

-dws tomund what dick is 🤚🏾🤠

-uh babies tormund chill out

-the way Jon's jacket coat thing puffs out is so funny

-i really hope Jon's not in love with Dani

-cersei wants to murder alot of people

-wait why cant dani have children

-they looks like ants in the snow

-is that a polar bear,, NOT A POLAR BEAR I REPAET NOT A POLAR BEAR

-THEYVE GOT FLAMING SWORDS

-mans is gonna get eaten alive

-hes gonna die out here and he doesn't even care,, or maybe he wont die i ??????

-where did they get a flaming sword from

-lord baelish needs to stfu

-what is baelish planning

-its gone all quiet again

-jon said slice and dice

-that a loud fucking screech,, oh no I hear rumbling that cant be good

-go gendry go!!

-theyre running across a lake what if the ice breaks,,

-gendry is a fast little fuck huh

-im so stressed I dont want anyone else to die,, especially gendry

-theyre gonna freeze to death

-oh no thros froze, feels bad man

-where did he get a flaming sword,, it pretty poggers

-ive got anxiety

-not sansa going back to king's landing

-miss thing, honey, sansa it's never safe

-yall Danis coat is so pretty

-how to train your dragons type beat

-well done hound you've provoked the dead

-wheres dani and her dragons when you need her

-if tormund dies,, oh nooooo

-someone should help him

-this is so sad

-sis came through what a queen

-the king Walker is gonna throw the ice spear and kill the dragon oh naw

-the stress is coming back

-he just killed on of her dragons,, I'm so shook

-jons gonna drown

-okai hes still alive but how long still he freezes to death

-miss thing you're literally gonna freeze to death dont try to fight

-seeing uncle benjen die, saving him,, that hurted

-the CRUNCH of Jon's coat oft

-shes not gonna kill sansa right?!?

-arya gave her the dagger but now what?!?

S07E07 (this should be good)

-bronn I'm offend men with dicks are just as good with men without them

-the dothraki really just fight for fun huh

-THEON!!!!

-not the brothels 🤚🏾🥴

-the wight doesn't enjoy that box

-cersei you wont be killing anyone,, miss thing needs to SIT DOWN AND STFU

-god I don't wanna deal with any lennister,, apart from tyrion

-i love podrick

-maybe I dont like ser bronn

-im sus,, something bad might happen,, its gone all quiet

-here comes miss thing and euron

-im gonna be sick with anxiety

-does everyone just have a permanent from on their faces or what

-i hate when she speaks

-dragons as a means of travel is so handy

-ats a big fucking dragon pahaha

-constant state of stress

-euron shut the fuck up

-euron is gonna get punched in the face if he doesn't shut up

-sit down euron or fuck off

-cersei shut up for two seconds

-does whe really think the army of the dead is a bad joke,, MISS THING COME ONNN

-does miss thing believe them now after almost being attacked by a wight

-100,000 AT LEAST oh no

-euron is scared lol hes definitely gonna die

-"until the dead is defeated they are our true enemy" Miss thing we've been trying to tell you

-oop mans already been pledged and miss Cersei is pissed

-honestly fuck the Lannisters

-everyone is pissed at jon for not lying lol

-tyrion don't talk to cersei,, that's a bad idea just waiting to happen

-oh lord am stressed

[knight-laughingtree-blog]

I’ve been tagged :-p

Tagged by @tatticstudio55

bold what applies: asoiaf/got edition

I’ve read the books first

I’ve watched the show first

I don’t watch the show

I don’t read the books

I think the books are better

I think the show is better

There is a character I like in the books/show but don’t like in the books/show

I think the show changed something for good

I imagine a book character like the actor now, even if it doesn’t fit the book description

I like the book version of the Red Wedding better

I like the show version of the Battle of the Blackwater better 

I prefer the Boltons in pink

I prefer the Greyjoys with dark hair

I liked Talisa

I prefer the age of the Stark children in the show

I miss the purple eyes of the Targaryens

I like D&D better than GRRM  (peanut gallery comment: to bold this would be sacrilege!)

I prefer Doreah’s way of dying in the show

I think there’s an actor/actress who understands their character better than the author (not sure)

I think the books are more realistic

I feel more emotional about the books

I am worried about what will happen during the last season

I am worried the series won’t have a good ending

The houses:

I think the Starks are the good ones (generally speaking)

I think the Lannisters are evil

I would love to look like a Targaryen

I think the Tyrells are clever

I like more than one Greyjoy

I think the Tullys are ginger

I think the Martells are people of color

I would like to be a Baratheon

I would like to visit the Eyrie

I think all Boltons should die (well, that’s a moot point now)

I would love to learn more about the Reeds

I think the Freys are the worst

I don’t like the way some characters/houses were portrayed in the show

The characters:

I think Stannis is the heir to the Iron Throne

I think Daenerys is the heir to the Iron Throne (sorry boo, its your nephew)

Eddard was the most honorable man of all

I think R+L=J is true (#confirmedbiotches)

Tyrion is the funniest character

I feel sorry for Theon

I think Sansa is dumb (can i double bold this?)

I think Arya should complete her training

I think Jaime is the Valonqar regarding the prophecy (if someone tries to tell me that Valonqar is gender neutral one more time i swear to christ...)

I hate Catelyn for how she treated Jon (though i think there will be some redemption there.... theory post to come)

I think Melisandre is evil 

I think Sam will be a maester 

I think Brienne will kill Jaime

I think Jaime will kill Cersei

I think Tyrion will kill Cersei

I like the Free Folk

I think Bran will be evil

I hope Euron is the ruler of the Iron Islands in the end

I think Jon Connington will die by his sickness

I think Walder Frey outlives the series

Emotions:

I cried more than once while reading the books

I cried more than once while watching the show (shiiiiittt, i cry watching reactions of other people watching the show.)

The Red Wedding destroyed me (i knew it was coming, kind of, but it still was like a punch in the gut.)

I screamed while reading the books/watching the show (both, but most recently hearing Sam think about his father chaining him up. It was such a shock.)

I hate a character so much I want him/her to die a horrible death

I kinda feel like I’m in love with a character

I like most of the sex scenes

I laughed while reading/watching

I refuse to accept a/some scene(s)

I miss a character (mostly direwolves. the rest of the characters had a good reason for dying so i am not too upset anymore.)

I had goosebumps while reading/watching

I had a nightmare about something from the books/show

I wish I could be a certain character (it’s one of those things where i don’t know if i want to be them, or be on top of them.)

I call a character “my baby” because I love him/her so much

I’m jealous of a character

I wish that certain characters would make out

A scene/character frightened me so much, that I don’t want to think about it/him/her (i still cant look Oberyn’s death straight on. I have to look away. sooooo gross.)

I admire a character

I closed my eyes while watching a certain scene(s) (again, Oberyn)

Some descriptions of food made me hungry

One (or more) chapter(s) bored me so much I skipped them (I have skipped AFfC. I will go back to it, but i just cant force myself through it right now.)

I chewed my nails out of stress while reading/watching

I think the Wall is beautiful

A death scene made me smile 

I think an actor/actress deserves an Oscar Emmy for their performance in GoT

I was so disgusted I nearly stopped reading/watching

I have one favorite book (ADwD so far.)

I have one favorite season (6, fight me)

I have one favorite scene (Tower of Joy!!!!!)

I have one favorite character (if I HAD to choose, it would be Jon, but just by a hair above Dany)

Tagging (wait, let me think) @violet-eyes-silver-hair @kit-tastik @thesparkles59 @muttpeeta @sssierra @castle-kate @ki11erqueen @mhysaofdragons

If you’ve been tagged before, just ignore this XD

[axelsagewrites]

Shadowhunter preference*Dance pt1

Their will be more than one part to this since this only includes Jace, Clary and Alec. This is also from my wattpad btw.

Masterlist HERE

Wattpad HERE

Jace: Jace and you had been having a stressful day. He had been on extra missions while you had had some issues with the clan. Josh, a newer vamp, had been questioning your authority while Raphael was gone. You had managed to sort it out though and were on your way heading to your flat. While walking you got a text from your boyfriend. 'Where r u? I'm @ ur flat.'

(I can imagine him texting like this) You muttered a quiet 'crap' and replied. 'Be back soon. Held up at work.' You used your vamp speed to get to your flat quicker. You rounded the corner and saw Jace standing by the door. You slowed down as you approached him and that's when you noticed the rain starting. "Hey." He turned upon hearing your voice. "There you are." He gave you a quick kiss on the lips. "You ok?" He sighed. "Work stuff. Don't let it get us down." You smiled and started looking through your bag for your key. You were started to get faster as the rain got heavier. "No offence but can you hurry up." Jace was covering his head with his arm and you could feel your hair getting soaked. "Ugh, where is it?!" You exclaimed. "You did lift it before you left the Dumort?" You literally facepalmed and muttered a 'damn it'. "I knew I forgot something." Jace sighed. "Wait, I'll text Lilly and ask." You began to phone her. "Who?" You raised an eyebrow as you held the phone to your ear. "Lilly. The one you meet yesterday. The ginger vamp." Jace nodded and looked away. Lilly answered. "Hey, did I leave my keys?" "I was wondering when you'd phone." You could hear her smirk and your keys jingling. "I was going to tell you but you ran away." "I'll come get them." You sighed. "No need. I'm at a vamp café not too far from your flat. Give me ten minutes." "It's pouring!" You yelled into the phone. After a few beats of silence, you added. "Get me a bloody coffee and Jace some normal coffee then." "Fine." She sighed before hanging up. You turned to your boyfriend who was looking at you with a 'really?' look. "Sorry?" You hunched up your shoulders. By this point your hair was so wet it was separating into strands. Jace gave up with protecting his hair. You grabbed his hand and put your other hand on his shoulder. "We've got ten minutes to kill. Let's dance!" You started to make him spin fast in some form of dance. "I knew you were secretly a romantic." He yelled, grinning, as you both span. "Shut up." You danced in weird rhythms. Sometimes faster, basically flinging each other around, and other times slow and 'properly'. You didn't even realise how long you'd been dancing until you felt a hand grab your shoulder and spin you round. There you saw Lilly with an umbrella holding your keys and coffee with a raised eyebrow. "What?!" You exclaimed with a smile. You could tell she was suppressing a smile as she tossed Jace the keys and handed you the coffee. She nodded her head at Jace then at the door. He got the hint and went over to let himself in. You stepped under her umbrella. "You are such a sap." "At least I have a boyfriend." She rolled her eyes. "I took a pic while you were spinning. I'll send it to you." She started to walk away. "Wait, don't you want money for the coffee?" She shook her head. "If a friend cant pay for the others drinks is it really friendship?" With that, she sped away. You walked over to the door to see it closed with Jace standing inside smirking through the glass. You banged on the door. "Let me in blondie!" He shook his head with a boyish grin. "I'm getting wet you twat!" He raised an eyebrow. "Not like that!" You pouted and he rolled his eyes and opened the door. "Let's go get warmed up then." You nodded in agreement and handed him his coffee from the holder. "Thanks." You felt your phone buzz and when you got in you saw Lilly's message.

Your sweetness sickens me-L

Clary: It was Isabelle's birthday and she had invited you, Clary, Simon, Alec, Magnus and Jace to a club. Alec had gone for about half an hour before he and Magnus mysteriously slipped off. Jace had gone dancing with some Seelie girl and Izzy was practically begging for the remaining three to dance. "I hate club dancing! It's too sweaty." Clary whined. She turned to Simon. "No. I may be your boyfriend but I'll die in that crowd." Lastly, she turned to you with a pout. "Please! It's my birthday!" She grabbed your hands and almost dragged you. "Fine." You turned back to the boring duo. "You'll join when you see what you're missing." You winked at the pair while Izzy squealed and started pulling you into the sea of people. First time by Kygo and Ellie Golding came on and the crowd cheered. You and Izzy started dancing. Normal at first but Izzy leaned in and told you. "They're staring. Want to try to drag them out?" She raised an eyebrow mischievously and you smirked and nodded. She put her hands on your hips and you two began to be a bit more 'into it'. After a few moments, you felt a hand on your arm spin you round. Suddenly you were dancing with Clary instead of Izzy. You suppressed a smirk as you glanced over your shoulder to see Izzy with Simon. You looked at your girlfriend and put your hands on her hips. "Decided to join us?" You raised an eyebrow with a small smirk. She smacked your shoulder. "I hate you sometimes." She glanced around and you could tell she was holding back a smile. "I guess one dance won't hurt." You grinned before grabbing her hand, spinning her and slightly dipping her before pecking her lips. When you brought her back up you span her again and she ended up pressed against you with her hands on your chest. "Smooth." She laughed. "I try. No, in fact, I just am." You grinned. You had gotten completely separated from the other couple so you were 100% focused on Clary. You both began to dance. You swayed your hips to the music and bumped up and down as it got faster. Eventually, you both had to get drinks. You got to the bar to see Izzy and Simon sitting together and Jace down the opposite end chatting up a different Seelie with a wet patch on his shirt. "What happened to him?" Clary questioned. "Some Seelie threw a drink at him. He's bounced back though." Simon replied. "You've been dancing a long time. Thought you'd left." "Naw." You slung an arm round Clary's shoulder. "Not gonna leave the birthday girl." Isabelle gave you an 'oh really?' look. "Unless she says ok." Izzy scoffed. "Get one more drink with us then you may go do whatever." Clary blushed while you signalled the bartender. You ordered the drinks and true to Izzy's word you and Clary left after. You went to a small 24-hour café and got food though. After you started walking back to the institute. Every so often you would spin and dip Clary though.

Alec: Alec was busy and you were bored. You decided to blast some music in your living room and dance. You were in the middle of dancing to girlfriend by Avril Lavigne when he opened the door. He looked up to see you jumping on your couch and mouthing the words into a hairbrush. "Hey!" You jumped down and grabbed his hands after chucking his phone on the couch. "Dance with me!" You started jumping and shaking your hair around while he just looked at you amused. When it got to the 'wrapped around your finger' bit you waggled your finger and slowly moved closer to him. You pressed him against the door while he did nothing. "Dance." You pleaded. He rolled his eyes. The song finished and the next one came on. This was slower. It was somewhere only we know. Alec shrugged his jacket off and grabbed your hand softly. "This I can dance to." Alec span you round the living room before trying to get you to waltz. You kept stumbling and stepping on his feet. "How do you know how to waltz?" You laughed. He chuckled softly. "Mom made us learn it for some ball thing. She managed to engrain it into my head." You laughed softly. "I hated it though. At first." You were just swaying at this point. "Izzy was partnered with Jace and I had to do it with some snotty girl. She was a living hell and we were eight for angel's sake! After a while, I zoned her out and just dance. I rather enjoy it." You rested your head on his shoulder. "Am I a better dancer than her?" You looked up at him and he gave a short laugh. "No. You're awful. But," he spun you around. "you've got an amazing teacher." You smiled at your adorable boyfriend. "Ok then, teach me." And he did. You spent the next hour stepping on his feet and trying to keep to the rhythm. After an hour though you were bored so you grabbed your phone and put a more upbeat song on. You turned back to see him with a look of 'what do you think you're doing?' on his face. "Let's dance my way now." He groaned. "Hey! I did your fancy dance now its time to let loose!" You grabbed his hands and started jumping to the beat. After a moment he started to join in slowly. Then faster. You began spinning around the apartment faster and faster together. By the end of the song, you both flopped onto the couch out of breath. "Not bad Lightworm." "How did you know about my ancestors?" He turned to look at you. "Magnus might have told me." You smirked at his groan. "I'm sure they'd be proud of your dancing. Don't worry." Alec rolled his eyes. "Like you can talk." "Hey!"

[survivingthejungle]

never fade away, part vi

i cant tell you how many times i’ve re-written this just to have it all be deleted again. too many times.

i have a bad sunburn and it huuuuuuuurts like a mf.

let’s get this show on the road.

_____________________________________________

You knew, deep in the back of your mind, that no matter how smoothly your life had been going since you got home, something would eventually come along to mess it all up again. To reference an overused quote, “Nothing gold can stay.” You were indescribably happy every time you hung out with friends at a party or went for a car ride. You’d all sometimes even go exploring in old abandoned warehouses and take pictures. Such is the life of a high schooler on summer break. This, for you, was the calm before the storm.

Every once in a while, you’d wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, adrenaline rushing through your veins, heart pumping out of your chest. The copper-haired teenage psychopath who held you captive for weeks still had yet to make his way out of your nightmares. Sometimes, in the few seconds after you shot up from bed, you were paralyzed with the fear that he might be hiding in the dark corners of your room, and that he was going to kidnap you again- or worse. But your eyes would adjust and you would see that it was just you, the gentle humming of the fan in your room, and your dog sleeping soundly at your side; you would snuggle into the 10-month-old Australian Shepherd tightly and fall right back asleep.

You had gotten the dog, named Sadie, not long after the incident. Being a herding breed, she was very protective-a quality your parents valued (as they trusted she would grow into your personal guard dog, of sorts). She had a few months of being trained by a professional under her belt before your family adopted her, so she was not completely clueless on how to protect and alert you to danger if she sensed it. Your mother felt much more at ease knowing that you were being watched after, especially after you had flat-out refused to stay home and lay low for a while (“I’m not going to hide for the rest of my life mother. I’m not going to let the possibility of danger keep me from living my life. I’m not afraid of what’s out there.”)

You’d gotten in the habit of taking Sadie on walks, which is what you were doing the day the walls of your calm, normal life shattered once more. One decision to take a shortcut down an empty alley had changed the rest of your day. Sadie’s ears perked up and she stopped dead in her tracks before turning around and barking furiously. You whipped around suddenly and were met with the image of a small, greasy man with a smile that made you uneasy, and a tall man in a police uniform with a bloody bandage wrapped around his entire face and… copper hair. There was a chance it wasn’t the boy you guessed that it was, because come on, he was dead!- but you weren’t willing to take that chance. You sprinted off in the opposite direction as fast as your legs would carry you, Sadie as your side, seemingly trying to guide you to safety.

(Excerpt from a conversation you never heard: “Oh-oh my God! It’s her! I never imagined it would be this easy-!”

“Who? What are you talking about? Who’s ‘her’?”

“Going into the alley! Right there with the dog! That’s (y/n)! The two of you were meant to be together! See, we- the cult, that is- we tried to get her to join, since she’d been your… well, your… well, we couldn’t ever get her to tell us about your relationship. We all just assumed she was your girlfriend- after all, you had kept her with you for a few weeks, you seemed pretty possesive, too- but she wouldn’t ever talk to us… We all just guessed she was traumatized after watching you… die… Although-“

“Hey man, shut up. Tell me the rest of the story when we get back… Help me grab her, would you?”)

What you weren’t expecting in this unrealistic, nightmarish experience was actually making it safely to the next street over and finding help.

It didn’t happen, either.

There was suddenly a strong grip around your stomach, effectively lifting you off the ground, leaving you kicking and screaming for help. A cold, pallid hand left your side to roughly grab your face and hold it still. You were staring directly into the eyes of the bandaged and bloodied face, and you were terrified beyond words. “Hm,” he said in a croaky, gravelly voice you almost were familiar with, “You do look pretty familiar… Oh! Of course! I remember you now! Hey, how ya been-” His half-hearted greeting was cut short by Sadie gnawing on his left calf. (“Good girl”, you thought.) “Ow!” He rolled his eyes and tried to get a hold of his gun and shoot her, but before he could aim it, you were wildly pulling his arm away from her.

“NO! STOP!” You screamed, at the top of your lungs. “SADIE, RUN!” You half expected her to not move a muscle, because this was not a movie, and she probably didn’t even know that command, but to your surprise and relief, she bolted in the other direction. “LET ME GO!” You continued to shout, “GET OFF ME! STOP IT! G-” You were muffled by his hand covering your mouth.

“Chill out, would ya? God, the one person I wasn’t planning on killing tonight, and THIS is the thanks I get.” You were being thrown into the backseat of the car at this point, followed by the one who had carried you there. “You know where we’re going,” he noted to the other man, and shoved him in the driver’s seat. You, of course, were already clawing at the other door to get it to open, not a clue in the world as to what your plan would be if you really got out. “Jeez, would you- Would you stop that? Do you /want/ me to drug you?”

“NO! Let me OUT! GOD! I am not about to be kidnapped AGAIN by the same ginger freak! YOU SHOULD BE DEAD! WHAT THE FUCK! Get AWAY from me! LET ME GO! Get AWAY from me! YOU RUINED MY LIFE, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING NARCISSIST!” He said nothing in response, only grabbed a hold of both of your hands, and started tying them together using a wad of fresh gauze tape rolled up and laying on the floor. You figured that was the same thing he had used to bandage his face as well.

“Not that I’m against it or anything, but unless you want me to gag you as well, I’d suggest shutting the hell up. ‘Kay babe?”

You just sharply nodded, and shrunk away from him and as close to the door as possible. Sinking into the backseat of the car, you looked out through the window and were met with the view of an industrial park. “Hey, uh…” Jerome started, directing his words towards the gross little man driving. “What’s her name again?”

“(y/n),” the man offered.

“Right, (y/n), uh… What have you been up to since I died?”

You were absolutely incredulous. “Are… Are you joking with me right now? Is this a joke? Dude seriously?” He nodded. “Oh my God. Well if you NEED to know, I was in a psych ward for 6 weeks after I finally escaped because I had “severe mental trauma”, my body rejected solid foods for 9 days because YOU refused to feed me anything other than apple sauce and yogurt, and I had 3 different psychology professors fighting over who got to use me in their next case study. I also had to catch up on 4 weeks worth of school on my OWN time because the American public school system is shit, and no one at school talked to me for 2 weeks because they all thought you might have fucking brainwashed me. My life was JUST starting to go back to normal! I got my driver’s license-“

He seemed to be interested in this. “You had a birthday? You’re sixteen now?” You nodded. “Wow. That’s really a shame. Can’t believe I missed my girl’s birthday.”

“Fuck off. I’m not your anything.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll come around eventually.” His face (or, rather, lack thereof) lit up in a split second as he turned to you. “Ooh! I got an idea,” he grinned as the stolen police car you were in stopped in front of an abandoned warehouse. "Y'ever been to a carnival?”

“What? No,” you replied. He and his greasy friend both got out of the car before he walked over to your side, open the door, and pulled you out by your bicep.

"Don’t even think about runnin’, babe. That won’t end well.”

_________________________________________

there will be another update on the way soon. i forgot how much i love writing??? wtf???? i know this isn’t very good and im sorry for making you wait so long for such shitty writing but please be patient w me and i’ll have better stuff on the way.

in the mean time i’ve missed you all how have you been??

in the other meantime no worries to my other request i’m working on them

lastly please, as always, do not hesitate to send me a request if u want me to write anything!!! i love u all my friends also if ur in the usa, please have a fun and SAFE (!!!) fourth of july tomorrow. goodnight friendos catch u on the flippity flip

[yourbri]

Rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Thanks to @nitanna for tagging me <3 Go follow her tumblr cause she’s the best! (and all my other friends & mutuals!)

THE LAST

1. drink: water 2. phone call: my mum, i asked her to pick me up from the station 3. text message: i sent a photo to my friend 4. song you listened to: bling bling - ikon 5. time you cried: on saturday and im not stating why cos its embarrassing 6. dated someone twice: wasnt even going to plan to get married 7. kissed someone and regretted it: hell no 8. been cheated on: single pringle 9. lost someone special: yes, my grandma 10. been depressed: not rlly, ive been pretty happy recently 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: drunk on bts yes

3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12. pastel 13. white/black 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: kinda? 16. fallen out of love: dude i fell out of love like a month ago (it was a crush tho) 17. laughed until you cried: everyday 18. found out someone was talking about you: id rather not know tbh 19. met someone who changed you: who said i interacted with ppl? 20. found out who your friends are: i dont have friends XD 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: dont have fb GENERAL 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I dont have social media 23. do you have any pets: i used to have pet snails…two died, and we let one go…that’s why i cant stand people eating snails, even if its sea snails, even if its a delicacy 24. do you want to change your name: no, but i do want to change the spelling of Brianna to Bryanna (to be hipster ya know) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: buffet for lunch and then my sister got sick, i got my period, and i thought i would die (i dont want to celebrate my bday again, really) 26. what time did you wake up: 7:03 am, i dragged myself out literally 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: hiding underneath my covers with my phone on wattpad 28. name something you can’t wait for: independence. i know i’m still a child and although im scared of growing up, i want to have more freedom and independence, more control of my own life. 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: like a few minutes ago? 31. what are you listening to right now: the sound of my own breathing 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes, back in primary schoo. he was a ginger. and i had a crush on his best friend 33. something that is getting on your nerves: people 34. most visited website: youtube, gmail and tumblr 35. hair colour: dark brown (looks lighter in the sun) 36. long or short hair: long hair, i havent cut it for like how many months….lmao 37. do you have a crush on someone: irl, a boy at tennis comp (tho im not sure if i still do) and BTS BTS BTS 38. what do you like about yourself: my twisted sense of humour? 40. blood type: wtf idk am i supposed to know? 41. nickname: Bri, Brian, Bry-anna (like fry) 42. relationship status: single now and forever 43. zodiac: capricorn 44. pronouns: she/her 45. favourite tv show: shark tank (educational and interesting) (i wanna be an investor now so i can be rich)  46. tattoos: zero, but i might get one when im older…one that i wont regret 47. right or left handed: right handed 48. surgery: never 50. sport: tennis, tho im not really good, but im working on it! 51. vacation: Japan, South Korea and explore more of Australia (im a local who hasnt even been to the Gold Coast) 52. pair of trainers: hand-me-down black adidas

MORE GENERAL 53. eating: my life revolves around food 54. drinking: im thirsty 55. I’m about to: revise for a math test but will probs end up doing some other crap 56. waiting for: myself to get my shit together in life 57. want: intelligence and wisdom           58. get married: okay, maybe i will get married…..(for company) but im not having kids 59. career: a school student who is waiting to get out of hell

WHICH IS BETTER 60. hugs or kisses: hugs definitely 61. lips or eyes: eyes, they tell everything 62. shorter or taller: taller 63. older or younger: older 64. nice arms or nice stomach: arms…for good protection and cuddling purposes 65. hook up or relationship: a truthful relationship 66. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant? idek bro, i thought im staying single

HAVE YOU EVER: 67. kissed a stranger: yum, no 68. drank hard liquor: nope 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: well ive never lost my glasses or my contacts, but my contacts did fall out once and one of my lenses from my glasses did pop out once as well… 70. turned someone down: who would even like me? 71. sex on the first date: ew no 72. broken someone’s heart: more like my own heart 73. had your heart broken: asdfghjkl never had a heart to begin with (i sound so emo wth) 74. been arrested: nah 75. cried when someone died: yes, yes yesu 76. fallen for a friend: somewhat yes?

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: barely 78. miracles: depends 79. love at first sight: not exactly 80. santa claus: too old for that shit 81. kiss on the first date: um….questionable? 82. angels: shrug

OTHER: 84. eye colour: dark brown 85. favourite movie: my lifeu

I tag: anyone who wants to participate @mutuals @random ppl

[lesbiansforandrew]

Ok so @pinkislouder, @loveloveolivia and @teamnouis tagged me in this and i love you all very much ♥️ (I'm doing this on my phone bc obviously my laptop just died rip so sorry if it looks shit) Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose 25 people to tag! THE LAST… 
1. Drink: fanta i think, i didnt want to but there was nothing else 2. Phone call: at work probably but thats boring so i think it was floor yesterday 3. Text message: the niall larries gc about elk her drama its hilarious 4. Song you listened to: cold (sak noel remix) - maroon 5 5. Time you cried: Lmao last night, when i had this one hour breakdown. It was ugly HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: I have never dated in my LIFE 7. Been cheated on: gonna take the same answer as amber, my friends yes 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: more like not kissing someone and regretting it 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: ha, very much 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: enough times for sure LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 12. soft pink 13. dark green 14. bordeaux red IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: definitely online and outside of the interwebs 16. Fallen out of love: cant say i've ever been in love so, no 17. Laughed until you cried: too many times to count 18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh :) enough times :) 19. Met someone who changed you: i guess, but in a good way 20. Found out who your true friends are: definitely 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yup for sure 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: like 95% 23. Do you have any pets: not anymore :( i have cacti now :) 24. Do you want to change your name: nah i'm the only female cornetto in this family and will stay that way until i die 25. What did you do for your last birthday: basically same story as amber, went to our favorite bar, got free shots from our favorite bartender, got shitfaced, oh and in the morning floor was there and we hung around with my family 26. What time did you wake up: 5:15am bc work rip 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: probably reading fic and telling myself to go the heck to sleep 28. Name something you cannot wait for: to meet @rogueandeskimo and see harry tbh 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: uhhh i think its been 3 weeks already idk 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Move the fuck out and get myself away from this toxic ass family 31. What are you listening to right now: my neighbours outside, its amusing 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I actually had a crush on a boy named tom when i was like 6/7 didnt work out, LUCKILY 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: the fact that my laptop jUST DIED and like lets not go deeper into this 34. Most visited website: Tumblr and twitter, a surprise 35. Elementary: it was good, it was weird but a good kind, very carefree 36. High School: the best and worst time of my life, no exaggeration 37. College/university: college was good, learned a lot about myself very important 38. Hair colour: orange, ginger whatever you wanna call it nowadays 39. Long or short hair: shoulder length 40. Do you have a crush on someone: yes if niall counts 41. What do you like about yourself: Not much atm but i guess i kinda look ok sometimes and i can be funny at the right moment 42. Piercings: nope 43. Blood type: wouldnt know if my life depended on it (ha medical jokes) 44. Nickname: my last name, cornetto, ams, am, ginger, theres more on this list 45. Relationship status: couldnt be more single 46. Zodiac sign: capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favourite TV show: gilmore girls, grey's anatomy, orphan black, friends, jessica jones 49. Tattoos: none yet 50. Right or left hand: right FIRST… 
51. Surgery: never had one, did break a lot of bones tho so i walked around with a cast every other 6 weeks 52. Piercing: none 54. Sport: Handball, did it for atleast 7/8 years before i quit, still love that sport to bits. Loved swimming also, was very good at it but like never did competitions 55. Vacation: my parents took me somewhere to germany as i remember but i also remember going to disneyland paris bc my aunt and uncle just got married and i was their braidsmaid at the age of 4 i dont remember which one happend first 56. Pair of trainers: probably some vintage ass shoes my mom found, they were red tho i think 57. Eating: my dinner, it was a salad. My brother left me some chocolate tho so i'll probably eat that in a bit bc well i had a salad for dinner what do you expect 58. Drinking: nothing 59. I’m about to: sleep probably 60. Listening to: not sure yet, maybe harrys album maybe mitam maybe my summer playlist 61. Waiting for: good things to finally fucking happen 62. Want: to be in greece right now thank 63. Get married: Maybe one day, if i find the right person 64. Career: all i've been thinking since dropping out is how much i want to have my own b&b somewhere on the countryside in england, beautiful perfect YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: I havent kissed anyone in ages jesus but i'm also a very big cuddler, no one really knows this about me i guess but i love it so i'm gonna say hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Lips fascinate me IM SORRY I KNOW ITS WEIRD dont ask lets move on 67. Shorter or taller: shorter but i dont mind anyone having the same hight as me, i dont even mind anyone taller but that doesnt happen much anyway 68. Older or younger: i prefer older but doesnt matter much actually 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: this is a stupid question it doesnt fucking matter 71. Sensitive or loud: loud for sure, love what amber said. Give me someone like louis 72. Hook up or relationship: atm i dont care but i'm definitely a relationship person 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, bc i can be quite hesitant eventho im very adventurous HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger?: i .. have not 75. Drank hard liquor?: sure enough 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: only a couple sunglasses 77. Turned someone down: godsjs enough times 78. Sex on first date: not sure if you can count it a date and we already knew eachother for years but anyway yes 79. Broken someone’s heart: idk probably 80. Had your heart broken: ohhh yeah 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yes 83. Fallen for a friend: hahahah :) DO YOU BELIEVE IN… 
84. Yourself: I'm trying my friends 85. Miracles: I'm not sure i believe in miracles i do believe that some things happen because thats how they were supposed to be 86. Love at first sight: I dont, as amber said attraction at first sight, yes definitely 87. Santa Claus: Uh duhh, havent you watched his movies?! He's out there 88. Kiss on the first date: how can you not believe in this???? I believe in this the MOST 89. Angels: harry and louis literally exist how the FUCK can you not believe in angels OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: (i HATE US but same as amber AGAIN) i dont call one person my bestfriend anymore, i have a small circle of bestfriends 91. Eye colour: green/greyish i guess 92. Favourite movie: 10 things i hate about you, clueless, the batman trilogy, catws Soooooo this took me longer than i planned, anyway lets tag @hunkyniall @yslsaint @givelarryachonce @actualhumansunshine @nowayoutalongwaydown @iicfhome @celestineal @bananasnouis @loveableirishman @peppyniall @bus1pride i want to get to know y'all, if you dont want to do this trust me i get it dont worry xxx

[ayatanskywalker4u]

NO ONE CAN BLAME YOU FOR WALKING AWAY

Does the story end when we go? Does love die if the pages stop turning? I hope so because Im in pain. How do u tell someone "you cheated 1st"? I slept with two women and the other I still love. I read her tumblr page when she wasnt looking, its not like i was the greatest guy. She said stuff like i said mean things. I know i did. Like a kid throwing a tantrum because i dreamed of a future. You know, having kids a house, maybe a dog. If i didnt love her why risk going to jail to save her life? Her father threatened to call the cops on me when i banged on the door yelling and crying shouting "SHES DYING" it was raining that night like some movie and me running through it. We were always there for eachother whether it was a prayer or a hand. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, that was somewhere in the middle.

Theres a lot that happened, some NSFW stuff that happened to her. I could see it breaking her. And when we finally met again she was laughing about some of the graphic content. She told me the old her was dead, like she was just looking past me. Like the night she was dying from an overdose. She didnt see the man that loves her. She only saw what she wanted to see.

When the ambulance took her away i met her the next day in the hospital ward. I will always remember this because as i turned away from her hand i felt her standing there almost begging me not to leave. I had to go, i joined the military.

What went through my mind during that moment was does she love me, then why didnt she call me before the pills? And she's slept with other men to boot. But i was always there even if it made me mad.

There was this other girl, Ebony. She was pretty but so was Ashley. I wanted to try getting back at her for running around. And no i didnt go to bed with Ebony after Ashley's incident. Not right after. I still shouldnt have. "He who touches a women divored commiteth adultery." The same goes for man. I sinned against my very heart which was Ashley and now she hates me.

Im not the type to go get a new dog when we have to put down o'l yeller. When my dog Ginger died i never replaced her. Can you replace a son or a daughter, a father or mother? Can you replace the person you almost lost your life for? I guess the question is should you though. I hate sounding like im giving up on what i believe in. I love ginger and i believe in a better place.

I stayed gone to military training until 2010. Ashley called in the beginning to see if i was alright. I was still mad at her. Was she sleeping with others even though i wasnt around even Ebony? Lol no but ebony was sleeping against me and Ashley even stalked her to find out for me. I thought she was manipulating my emotions. That was the beginning of our downfall. I called her, Ashley, right around my graduation. I was outside of a hotel the privates threw a party at. I missed her and decided to go outside and call her. She was with some other man sadly. Probably doing some NSFW with him as my heart breaks. She laughed at me over the phone, like hey Ash come on its OB. Im still here. I graduated but the woman i love left me.

After the military i called her every now and again. She wouldnt pick up most of the time. I joined the conservation corps and just decided to wait until she asked me to come over. My heart was racing when she asked to talk, funny enough i believe i quit there right beforehand.

We talked about a lot of stuff. Mainly she talked about the guy and the NSFW stuff. All while looking off in the distance just smiling and giggling about how he made her scream and broke the cheap Walmart bed. I was getting upset. Holding my tongue. But when she told me her father touched her, thats when i cracked. I laughed at her pain because it seemed like she was ignoring mine. I missed her forever and a day and she was just, idk she was something, a happy i wouldnt call happy. I spent the night i think, even tried to pull a night with her but its like she just hated me. The last time i recalled ever seeing her was the hospital. She must have held the hospital and ebony against me.

Fast forward to the next day she drops me off at my house. As i stare at her wondering whats going on in her head, probably the dudes equipment, she reaches out and tries to hug me. I pushed her hands away, like she just wanted me to feel like everything was going to be alright. She only wanted to chase tail. Like all those moments over the years we were together didnt matter. I know she was talkin to someone else, i felt like i couldnt "satisfy" her anymore in a way. She definitely didnt like my moves the night before. I watched her get back in the car and drive off.

Some years passed and we lost the house. I overdosed on i think excedrin. That was the night she wouldnt pick up her phone. Funny enough that bottle wasnt enough to finish the job. The cycle of wanting to die when you lose a love like a dog, pig, cow, man women, whatever its hard to kill unless you have hope.

I gathered my senses and decided to leave california for Minnesota. The week prior was bad though. I started hallucinating and i heard voices. I started developing schizophrenia, and destroyed my mothers house due to it. Back to the following week im leaving for Minnesota and Tony tells me he has a gun he wants to sell. I figure i'd buy it when i get paid. You guessed it, im looking to make the job quick. Ashley didnt love me anymore. She wont miss me anyways. I Know how to pull an M9 apart blind folded and put it back together within seconds. I know the central nervous system is what you aim for. Its in the back of the skull at the nape of the neck. You'd leave this world in seconds. I know it sounds grim but come on, its better than commiting adultery against my heart. Who wants to live and suffer at the same time?

Tony saw me brandishing the piece and hid it from me i was crying about what i had done to everyone.

Tony ended up ditching me in Minnesota, luckily it wasnt my first time eating out of a trash can. Home is where you make it. Some people at the shelter became my friends and we played guitars together. But i wasnt as good with the guitar as i am now.

Salvation army was my first job in Minnesota, i was just happy again. I grew my hair out and styled it down, not like Prince and less greasy. After work id go get a drink. I worked that job for about two months i know because my birthday had passed and i believe i turned 25.

2015 came down and i still was asking god what now. I was skinny and handsome playing the guitar with a job. There were women who'd look and stare and some thought i was full of myself. The truth is i just wanted to be able to hold ashley if she ever fell in my arms. I was kinda muscly. I always told myself that one day her legs will fail but id be ready, the muscles werent just for show.

I hit on a few women but i never chased. Id go to the library every now and again to read. And then it hit me, even though i had no cell phone i could use the computers, Ashley was the 1st thing on my mind. I called, i dont think she answered but messaged back. She sounded angry. She was pregnant is what she was. Little did i know. All said and done she left me feeling more empty than i had planned. I started getting angry at God, "if you control everything and move everything, why are you moving me toward Ashley? She doesnt even see the love anymore or remember the sacrifices."

The train to the mall was coming by soon. I went to the liquor store with a plan. Buy as much fireball whiskey as i can consume and jump off of the mall of america. The train was sluggish, probably because i had been drinking. I fell into a doze just before the last stop, "The Mall of America". I woke up and walked slowly, tipsy, toward the elevators to the 6th floor. I heard a voices as i walked to the ledge. I turned around to see if anyone was watching me, my back against the guard rail. I climbed on top and looked down, liquor really did help. I turned my head up and told God "you want my life? You can have it". I let go of my hands back toward the earth and fell asleep.

When i woke up it was about 2 weeks later. My vision was blurry but i made out my mom crying on my chest. I slowly reached and touched her scalp. She didnt know i woke up. Short lived, i went back to sleep. Not just my mom was there but my sister too. They drove from California. How did they find me with no ID?

I stayed in that hospital for 3 months, due to my injuries and placed in the psych ward. My family visited me every few months. All that was going through my head is 'I'm alive" it took me a while to figure out how to use my legs being one has nerve damage now. But i started walking before my bones could fully fuse. The nurses told me to stop.

After i gained disability and got placed in housing, i bought a game to occupy my time. No more work outs, no more running, just me trying to forget the reasons i gave up on life. A couple months to about a year later my mother asks if i want to leave the housing and save the disability money. I said yes to that. I didnt know they'd take me back to california on my birthday. It was a nostalgic drive.

I picked up a walking routine and decided talking to ashley was always going to end with her thinking about my faults. I stopped calling her for probably 4-5 years no messages, nothing.

One day my mom asks if i want to go for a ride and talk. We drove until we reached the on ramp she passes me her phone with a picture of Ashley holding a baby. It was Zipporah. What should i have felt? If ashley is dead why did ashley hold onto the dream? And share it with someone who just left her holding the bag. I couldnt believe it after how hard we tried to bring her into this world.

But i cant chase Ashley anymore, i cant even run, literally.

I didnt know if she was married or not to the dude all i know is his ass wasnt in any pictures with the baby. Ive done some searchin around, he was some dead beat who'd prey on women revealing there weak sides on the internet instead of reality. Yeah I never liked virtual dating. That or the websites. Why do for me what i can do myself?

Even after zipporah was in my view i was a happy mad. Happy that Ashley finally got her family minus the father. But mad at the whoremonger man who just left her. I was a little sore with Ashley for hiding it.

Its been a a year and a couple months after the pictures were seen. I started forcing the thought of Ashley out. I wanted her to disappear, me or her, but mainly me. She wants to chase body parts thats on her. But Im broken now. I still love her and sure some might say less than before but i say im just skeptical now. Besides what good is seeing me broken going to do for her? Idk if she'd just laugh at me again. I kinda wish she would, so i can take these feelings and curse the day she ever earned my love.

Whats the point in arguing though. We were so happy until people stepped in and sabotaged our emotions. You hate me for cheating, laughing at what happened between the father and you and walking away. When i should have stayed. I forgave all the crap in the past. But im almost done.

The doctors told me i dont have much time left after my jumping act. I messed up my innards pretty good. The alcohol relaxed the impact though. I dont want to tell my mother, she'd flip over what im talking about. I think i can close the book on this life well too.

Even though i didnt get to help raise the dreams we shared i learned you still held onto dead things just to keep the dream alive. Ashley is alive in there somewhere, only ashley would name that baby zipporah.

I can leave happy.

[anxiousauthor89]

Peanut

48 hours had passed since Trinity heard the news about Shawn. She was sick. Two different counselors had come to see her. One for parenting. Because the nurses reported her not wanting to see the baby. One for drugs. Because they were found in her system. She was annoyed as hell and she told them her mom went to see about Shawn and she didn't wanna talk until she knew he was okay. Her mom had her on hold but the counselors were so demanding of her attention she hung up. After leaving Judith waiting for 15 minutes, a chaplin came and said he was no longer with them. Knowing what that phrase normally meant, Judith ran out of the hospital dialing Trinity on her cell, to deliver the bad news. The parenting counselor was in the room when her mother called, so Trinity didn't have to say a word. The entire maternity ward heard her cries as she begged God to bring him back. "Baby, tell me where you are mama will come get you. Im right here baby just say where you are and Im coming!" Judith pleaded as she felt her daughters heart breaking. "We wanna get to you honey where are you?" her dad asked. "Hush Elijah im trying to get it out of her we cant both ask the questions!" her mom snapped as they started the car. "Mama...mama...why? Why did I do this mama?" she sobbed barely breathing between words. "I was just mad but I love him! If hes dead I wanna die too! I did this mama!" She screamed drowning in her pain. "Give me the phone I can talk for you I know it hurts but.." the counselor chimed in which snapped Trinity back to reality. "Who the fuck are you hoe?" Realizing this was a different counselor she got defensive. "How many of you bitches they gonna send in here huh? I don't fuckin want it! My mind will never change!" she screamed as tears ran down her face and hit her chest. "TRINITY JOY STEEPLES! WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO LIKE THAT? GRIEF IS NO REASON TO LASH OUT LIKE THAT! AND WHAT DONT YOU WANT? WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE GIRL?!" her mother was now growing impatient. Trinity was so wrapped up in being sad about Shawn she forgot her parents still had no idea about the baby. Immediately having to calm her nerves, she said "that's my roommate mama she just all in my business you know I hate that."  she glared at the women letting her eyes tell them if they say another word with her mama on the line, they will blow her cover and she will slap spit from them. Taking heed to the hint they stood in silence. Breathing deep she said "give me ten minutes mama. I will call you back." Hanging up before her mom could say anything back she sat on the bed. Trembling. "Why are yall here?" she asked slowly letting out the emotion she just had to put on hold while ending the call. "Im Grace. Grief counselor. As soon as my partner picked up on the fact that you lost someone she texted me and I was already here for another woman, so I came for you, Ms. Steeples. Are you okay? Tell me how you feel." the hazel eyed ginger haired lady looked like she wanted to cry with her. "I feel like I wanna die." she whispered. Grace was no rookie in this field. She knew words like that would land you in a mental hospital. "Excuse me ladies, I want to talk to her alone." she looked at Trinity placing her finger over her mouth, turning around smiling at the unwanted help as they left the room. "Thank you ladies. Brunch on me later!" she said as she closed the door behind them. Wasting time was not on the agenda for Grace. Not when she saw a life she could save. She refused to let another black woman be another statistic.  "Listen to me Ms. Steeples. she knelt down in front of Trinity, pushing her curly hair away from her teary eyes. "Do not talk like that. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. God loves you. And I know you know him I see him in you. You not going down like this. No matter what it looks like you shall live and not die. Now is not your time." For the first time in days Trinity felt safe. She felt like someone cared. Ashamed of her self, and her life choices, she confessed to the caring woman, "I don't want my baby. And when I plan to go home, Im not taking it with me. I was just going to leave." sobbing in embarrassment. "The daddy is dead and im not worth a shit. I cant take it home. I thought it was going to die! And it lived and now im a bad person because I killed the daddy and I still got a.." The conversation was cut short by her phone ringing. Her eyes grew big. "Sssshiiit that's my mama! She don't know about the baby..I...I didn't say nothing yet cuz Im scared and then Shawn got shot and I forgot and.." her nervous rambling ended when Grace grabbed her hand. "Its okay. Im here for you. We cant run from this baby. We can tell mama together. She loves you. I heard it in her voice. We not giving the devil anymore room in this situation. We gon tell the truth today." The look in Grace's eyes told Trinity she had met her match. It was time to come clean. The phone began to ring again. Trying to answer but an able to Trinity sat there shaking. Not wanting to keep ignoring her mom she slowly gave Grace the phone. With a single head nod, Trinity gave permission for the phone to be answered. Still holding hands, Grace answered the call. "Hi, Mrs. Steeples? Im Grace, a new friend of your daughter, how are you?" she calmly spoke. "Grace I don't know you but if you the friend that was all in my baby business you can back it on up unless you gonna tell me where she is!" the mother in her stood tall. "My baby needs me and I need to get.." "Wait...wait..Mrs. Steeples...with all due respect your daughter is my business. Im a grief counselor here at the hospital and she.." "What the devil is she doing at a hospital? She aint say she was hurt! her daddy got on the line. Rolling her eyes Grace realized they were completely in the dark. "Put me on speaker. You both need to hear this." Grace replied. "Oh yea?" her daddy said. "Well im listening and it better be good she got me so tight over here I got gas, just workin all my nerves gott doggit." Trinity let out a quiet chuckle as she gave another head nod, closing her eyes, giving grace permission to spill her beans. Taking a deep breath Grace squeezed Trinity's hand. "Your baby had a baby. Shes been here for about 4 days. The baby was delivered the first day she arrived. Shes not hurt. And the baby is doing ok too. Shes only 3 pounds, but shes strong...her ankle is broken due to a minor accident during delivery..." she gave Trinity the side eye hinting that it would remain their little secret "but shes so pretty and Trinity needs you. Shes afraid and she needs you all. More than ever before." The line was dead quiet. Growing fearful Trinity spoke. "Mama....daddy....I know yall mad but say something please...I didn't wanna disappoint nobody im sorry just talk to me I cant handle the silent treatment and.." "BE QUIET CHILD!" her mother yelled. Feeling like she was about to be disowned she put her face in her hands while Grace rubbed her back. "My Lord Jesus....ok." her mom took a deep breath. "We just trying to take all of this in baby I didn't mean to holler. Ya daddy over here letting out all his gas... in between him and this news I cant think!"  Understanding that it was indeed a lot to take in Trinity sat quiet. "So Im a paw paw...that's what you telling me Ms Grace?" Her daddy asked with a shaking voice. "Daddy don't cry I am so so sorry." Trinity said feeling like the worst child any parent cold ask for. "Oh Elijah stop dat crying. Big ol soft man" Judith laughed. "He happy baby. We are happy." she heard a smile in her mothers voice. "Ms. Grace where is my grand baby? You said she...I have a grand daughter?" Full of victory in spirit Grace jumped up from the bed "yes ma'am! Its a girl. I can talk to he head nurse and extend visitation hours so you can spend all the time you want! Are you coming?" she was so happy. "Told you its okay babygirl." she whispered to Trinity teasingly sticking her tongue out. Trinity smiled back wiping tears of relief. "Yes we are on the way right now! Oh my word Elijah!!" her mom laughed hard with happiness. "Trin had a baby! Oh thank you Lord you held my baby in your arms I know you did Thank ya Lord!" Trinity always cried when her mom prayed simply because she knew it reached Heaven. "Yes ma'am Ms Steeples. Hes good like that. Never failing. Im gonna let yall talk to Trinity while I extend the visitation hours for you." Grace was walking out when Judith called out "But wait!" she laughed. "You didn't tell me her name. Whats my grandbaby name?" " Yeah what we gon call her? Is it out the bible?" her dad yelled out? Not realizing she didn't even name the baby, Trinity was lost for words. She looked at Grace and shrugged her shoulders with both hands up while mouthing the words "I don't have a name". Walking back to the phone Grace replied in honesty "Well....she doesn't have a name yet. But shes the tiniest thing in the nursery. So for now... we call her Peanut